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8 Takeaways From Harvard’s Task Force Reports
Editorial Chair
The editorial page’s new Predictions feature will prove almost as popular as its Dartboards. Yeah, that popular.
Benjamin J. Toff '05
Editorial Chair
No, it won't.
Morgan R. Grice '06
Associate Editorial Chair
Jason L. Lurie ’05 will insist that “Cabot House is the new Iowa” before being informed that a) Undergraduate Council elections have no primaries and b) Undergraduate Council elections ended almost two months ago.
Travis R. Kavulla '06
Associate Editorial Chair
Students will flock to Religion 1529, “Personal Choice and Global Transformation” for the unique chance to get another credit for taking essentially the same class offered last year under the name Religion 1528, “Globalization and Human Values.”
Lia C. Larson '05
Associate Editorial Chair
Shuttles will begin running 24 hours a day. They will also start running during all 19 of the hours that they were already supposed to run.
Margaret M. Rossman '06
Associate Editorial Chair
This Sunday’s Grammy Awards will add a new stop on the red carpet: a checkpoint which will see that all straps are secure and enforce a new dress code which stipulates that necklines actually reach the neck.
Simon W. Vozick-Levinson '06
Associate Editorial Chair
A “study card flash mob” will create chaos as 700 students descend on Sumerian 200r, prompting widespread criticism of the administration for never considering any sort of “pre-registration” system.
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