Suiting up for The Game

The Game is coming up soon, and FM wants to help you in your quest to buy the best T-shirt for the occasion: that perfect item that will warm the hearts of Harvardians past and present, and boil the blood of those New Haven scoundrels.

Thus, a look at the top contestants in this year’s selection of the most degrading Harvard-Yale shirts.

Delta Upsilon’s limited edition “Ban This” shirt

The men of Delta Upsilon created this quality shirt, which comes in four dynamic color variations—light pink, hot pink, chestnut brown and crimson—with not only total humiliation of Yalies in mind, but also social justice. “Harvard has been putting more and more restrictions on social activities at the game,” says Mark L. Hill ’05, a senior member of the selling team. “We were hoping to channel some of these frustrations with our shirts.”

The witty script on the Gildan Activewear Ultra-Cotton Heavyweight T-shirt does just that. The front reads “BAN THIS” in large, clear lettering. On the back: “We may not have kegs, but you still go to Yale.” Next to this powerful message stands the beloved AOL man holding a beautifully illustrated beer bong.

“A lot of Harvard-Yale shirts are really offensive, and we were trying to make a shirt that was funny but not offensive,” explains Hill. At only $10, the price doesn’t offend either.

“The Original”: The Harvard Dance Team’s 2004 offering

“We were the first ones to sell shirts, about 12 years ago,” says Megan G. Cameron ’05, a senior member of the Harvard Dance Team. “This is our primary fundraiser. We don’t really survive as a team without the shirts.”

The infamous shirts, which come in baby tee and long-sleeved options ($15) in addition to the classic tee ($10), are snow white with sleek blue writing.

They pose the following question: “What do Yale and poop have in common?”

Then below: “They’re both #2.”

They’re going fast, according to Cameron.

“Boo-Yah!”: Satire V Strikes Back

After the early release of their controversial “Yale Sucks, Jeter Swallows” T-shirt for the American League Championship Series, Satire V is back with three new shirt styles for the next big game. Printed on highly wearable colors like white, light grey and crimson, the garments’ biting messages speak for themselves. The most fashionable of the three designs is back for a second year due to popular demand.

“We reprinted the ‘Boo-yah’ shirt from last year,” says Satire V President Kees A. Vandenburg ’06. “It always sells pretty well.”

On the shirt’s crimson surface reads, “Harvard has a good football team, whereas Yale has a bad football team. Boo-yah!”

With such a clear and honest message-—and for only $10—who could possibly resist?

Whatever your decision, whatever your means of insult and injury to the most nauseating school in the Ivy League, just remember: fashion may come and go, but Yale will always suck.