COYNE TOSS: The Sox Won? Welcome to a New World

It had to happen this way.

The only way for The Curse to be overcome was for the truly unimaginable to happen; for the occurrence of an earth-shattering, cataclysmic event so great no words could possibly capture its essence.

All that we knew about the world would have to be turned on its head.

The natural order--that set of principles that directs all earthly actions and proscribes the laws by which we live our lives--would have to be flipped.

Yesterday, that natural order was flipped.

A proton hugged an electron.

Rain fell up.

The Red Sox beat the Yankees.

In the long and storied one-sided rivalry, there was no better way for the Red Sox to finally overcome their greatest obstacle—the New York Yankees.

For the first time ever in the history of Major League Baseball, or the NBA for that matter, a team down 3-0 in a seven game series came back to win.

The sheer poetry and perfection of it all, that produced the most improbable of results.

Johnny Damon, 3-29 going into Game 7, last night hit two home runs, went 3-6, and had six RBI.

Fish flew in the air and birds swam in the sea.

A pair of big calls in Game 6 actually went against the Yankees.

Scratch-and-sniff stickers scratch and sniff you.

Manny Ramirez did not drive in a run in the entire series.

Hot dogs ate people.

Derek Lowe gave up one run over six innings in the probably the biggest game of the last 80 years of Red Sox history.

A chicken spoke and revealed that neither he nor the egg came first--it was the Yetti.

Pedro Martinez gave up two runs in one inning of work.

Ralph Nader endorsed President Bush.

Curt Schilling had the tendon in his right foot move around more than Manny Ramirez did in Game 1, was essentially ruled out for the rest of the playoffs, then shut down the Yankees in Game 6 with the skin of his leg sown down to the tissue underneath.

Fire burned cold.

Mariano Rivera, who blew four saves all season, blew two in the series.

Cats chased dogs.

Red Sox relievers went 14 1/3 innings without surrendering a run.

Paper talked and it spoke with a British accent.

Elton John sang a duet with Eminem. Oh, wait, that already happened a while ago.

Larry Summers signed a one year deal with the Patriots. He’s their quarterback of the future.

Game 5 lasted 14 innings, saw 471 pitches, and went nearly six hours, making it the longest playoff game by time ever. Add to that Game 4, which took 11 innings and a shade over five hours, and almost 11 out of 24 hours were spent playing baseball.

Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo discussed the shortcomings of the Hegelian dialectic over sun dried tomato and chicken wraps with Shredder.

David Ortiz delievered not one, but two game-winning hits.

The tuba and trombone players were the coolest guys at the party. Heck, they were leading the party.

Last night, the natural order was flipped.

The Red Sox beat the Yankees.

Staff writer J. Patrick Coyne can be reached at coyne@fas.harvard.edu. His column appears on alternate Thursdays.