Justice Among Houses

Dartboard thinks that interhouse dining restrictions are unjust. And from the nightly ritual of students clamoring to eat in Adams House Country Club, it’s clear that the rest of the barbarians agree.

So Dartboard has come up with a solution that every Harvard liberal will love: Put interhouse restrictions to a Rawlsian vote. Until late March, next year’s first-years will inhabit Harvard behind a veil of ignorance, unaware of either their endowments as privileged Adamsians or their impending exile to the Quad. Balancing overcrowding fears with the threat of being in the crowd that gets unceremoniously thrown out the door, these first-years should vote yea or nay, whether dining hall segregation should be a relic of the past.

The result will be an overwhelming yea. This is justice we’re talking about after all, and much like a true red-blooded Harvardian’s view of success in the world outside the gates, the brandy-sipping elites in Adams have won their privileges through no merits of their own. Once the walls of the country club are toppled, and once dirty non-Adamsian fingers have tainted the sterling silver platters of popcorn chicken, Dartboard has another idea: progressive tuition brackets, based on house affiliation, of course. We can even put it to a vote.

—LUKE SMITH