Fifteen Questions For ...

1. You now represent the state of Rhode Island and potentially will represent the entire United States. However, Miss World and Miss Universe have far larger constituencies. Do you in any way envy the size of their dominions, or do you think serving all of the Earth’s people may, in fact, be too great a task for one person?

Rhode Island actually has a longer coastline than most continents. Plus, we have the largest landfill in the world, so I’m satisfied.

2. Do you think size matters in the Miss America pageant?  Do you think coming from such a small state helps or hurts your chances?

Well, size might not necessarily matter. For instance, Ms. Connecticut won in 1933, so if you believe, like I do, that luck goes in 70-year cycles, then my chances are good. If, however, you believe that a population advantage allows larger states to draw from a larger pool of applicants, thereby statistically increasing the probability of producing a better candidate, then I guess I’m screwed.

3. Even if you don’t win Miss America, are there any states in particular you would really like to place ahead of for pride’s sake? Delaware perhaps? New Jersey?

I really don’t try to look at one state as being “better” than the other. I despise all of them equally.

4. Speaking of New Jersey, the Miss America pageant will be held in Atlantic City in September. Do you intend to hit up the slot machines?

All proceeds will be donated to organizations promoting World Peace and Saving the Children.

5. You’re the first in 83 years of Miss Rhode Island to win all three preliminary awards for swimsuit, evening gown and question/answer. What’s your secret?

This was my 84th shot at it.

6. When you were Junior Miss Rhode Island, did you have to cut ribbons at hospitals?

Yes, of course! Didn’t you cut ribbons when you were Junior Miss?

7. What’s the worst answer you’ve ever heard anyone give in the Q and A?

Miss USA 2003 was asked what three items she would put in a time capsule to represent 2003. She answered a computer, a cell phone and makeup.

8. Which of the following pageant movie titles best describes you: Drop Dead Gorgeous or Miss Congeniality?

Are you printing my picture with this article?

9. Behind the scenes, how congenial are the contestants to one another?

We didn’t have a Miss Congeniality award at Miss Rhode Island, but I was recognized onstage as the only contestant willing to share my “butt glue” with the poor seven or eight girls who couldn’t figure out how to keep their bathing suits from rising up.

10. Do you ever hang out with (or have you ever met) Harvard’s other pageant winners?

Whenever I walk into Nochs, I say hello to the picture of Elizabeth Hancock ’01, Miss Massachusetts 1998.  It’s always been a dream of mine to have my picture on the wall of Nochs.

11. Pageant contestants’ mothers are notoriously pushy. Is your mother a stage mother? Have you met any?

There are more “stage mothers” at Harvard than at all the pageants put together.

12. Will “Miss Rhode Island” be listed on your resume?

Who needs a resume when you can walk into an interview wearing a crown and a smile?

13. Please give a percentage (out of 100) of how much you think beauty is about what’s “on the inside” and how much it’s about what’s “on the outside.”

I think for pretty people, external beauty constitutes about 85 percent, and for ugly people, its more like 37 percent.

14. Have you ever used Vaseline on your teeth? Any other wacky beauty tips?

Yes, I have used Vaseline on my teeth. I also put toothpaste on my lips and mascara under my armpits.

15. Other than your family and Jesus, who do you most have to thank for your success so far?

My friends in Eliot House who have been collectively humming “There She Is” for two days straight.