Big Pimpin' Up In MIT

One side effect of America’s burgeoning cell phone culture is that millions of people walk the streets every day talking to themselves. Especially with the absurdity that is the “hands-free” cell phone headset, cell phone users often look like raving lunatics and/or complete tools.

Not Ali Rahimi. A fourth-year grad student at MIT, Rahimi devised a way to conquer the bane of headsets and bring the flair of pimping, another modern pastime, to the bland world of cell phones. As he says on his website (www.ai.mit.edu/~rahimi), “I am the coolest stud at MIT University—I hacked an old school telephone handset onto my cell-phone. Now I walk around Cambridge, MA, looking like a phat pimp! “

Such a bold statement—as well as the dubious claim of “pimping” going on at MIT—begged further investigation.

A lunchtime rendezvous with Rahimi, however, revealed a mild-mannered man more intent on discussing his research on sensor networks than his superfly cell phone. Was it a mistake? Could this really be the same guy who called a bunch of British guys manufacturing similar cell phones “a bunch of limey pansies”?  In truth, Rahimi explains, the “phat pimp” persona on his website is a ruse. “I thought it would be funny if I pretended to be some sort of ‘technology pimp,’” he explains, “but a lot of Europeans bought into it. They really think I’m this ‘phat dude’ that just happens to carry a rotary-phone handset around.” Rahimi’s real reason for inventing the phone was a technology conference for Third World countries that took place last December. He took home second place for his unique device. By attaching a huge archaic handset to his tiny Nokia cell phone, Rahimi explains, “I was able to illustrate the problem many third-world citizens have connecting with modern technology. The cell and handset was a sort of bridge between the old and new.”

Suprisingly, Rahimi’s cell phone is only one of his many useful “solutions for common problems.” He is currently compiling a book of ideas with friend and fellow grad student Rolf Howarschmidt that includes suits that businessmen can ride bikes in and, perhaps most interestingly, “a coat for people with ‘public autoerotic proclivities.’” Rahimi clarifies, “Basically, it lets its wearer masturbate in public without anyone else knowing.” Despite his ambitious future projects, Ali remains famous, at least for now, thanks to his cell phone. He was recently surprised to find that a current google search for “biggest MIT stud” yielded his website. And as for his pimping? Ali concedes, “The cell phone wasn’t really intended for pimping, so I don’t really know if that’s a valid claim. But my girlfriend definitely thinks it makes me cooler. I’ll take that.”