Going Once, Going Twice...Mazel Tov!
Are you an SJM or an SJF seeking that special someone, a partner to share evenings of stimulating conversation, romantic walks on the beach and the weekly candlelit shabbat? Last Thursday night, Harvard Hillel played match-maker, hosting the first ever Hillel Date Auction.
On any odd day, Beren Hall is a place of pious worship and the site of daily prayer services. But for the auction, seats were arranged fashion-show style around a central catwalk. As approximately 100 undergraduates arrived to bid on the sexy dates-for-sale, the expectant crowd transformed the hall’s atmosphere of religious reverence into a (kosher) meat market.
The bidding began cautiously. Event emcees Aaron K. Harris ’06 and Nina E. Glass ’03 sold the first few dates for modest prices of around $30 apiece.
Suddenly and inexplicably, the crowd lost its inhibitions and loosened its wallets. The bidding got competitive when Joshua J. Segal ’04 appeared on the catwalk dressed in a dark suit and chic yarmulke. The emcees enticed the crowd by dropping a reference to his prestigious—highly lucrative—summer internship at Goldman Sachs. After hearing that Segal would be making bank this summer, an aggressive girl in the back of the audience quickly snatched him up for $55.
Unprecedented bid inflation ensued. Talia J. Rosenberg ’06 was introduced by the emcees and did her thing on the runway in a conservative, white button-down and a sexy, black velvet skirt. Several guys were helplessly enraptured. Rosenberg’s admirers competed for the pleasure of her company by shouting out bids upwards of $100 as the crowd cheered them on. Her friend and co-worker at the Harvard AIDS Coalition prevailed, laying down a hefty $112 for a single date.
While Rosenberg reigned as the priciest girl of the evening, David M. Lippin ’04 gave her a run for her money when he appeared on the catwalk sporting a crimson warm-up suit. A varsity water polo player, Lippin sparked the interest of the female bidders with his tall, athletic build. But the bidding on this bachelor unexpectedly became a combination auction-striptease when the emcees announced that Lippin would be removing articles of his clothing if the bidding surpassed several undisclosed amounts. After a $100 offer, Lippin’s shirt came off, revealing his swimmer’s shoulders and sexy six-pack. Sadly, no one bid high enough for Lippin to strip down to his speedo. After the auction, he disclosed that the magic number would have been $150. While Lippin was spared the embarrassment of near-nudity, he was pleasantly surprised by his $105 price tag. “I didn’t even expect to get over $100,” he said.
As the evening approached its end, the organizers of the event counted the cash. Proceeds from the date auction exceeded $1000—and everyone’s wildest expectations. The money will be added to the profits from other fundraisers to support the Campus Hillel Ambulance Initiative (CHAI), a fund which intends to donate an ambulance to the State of Israel.
While the organizers emphasized the charitable nature of the auction, they also performed an invaluable service to the social lives of many Jewish undergraduates. Lippin speculated that the high value placed upon intra-religious dating in many Jewish families contributed to the success of the event. Jewish students were more willing to pay big bucks to date someone with whom they share a religion, an ethnicity and a culture. While Lippin admitted that the Jewish dating scene on campus is limited, he said he believes that those limitations only “force you to look harder within the community.”
The last act of the evening was the appearance of five brothers from Alpha Epsilon Pi, a predominantly Jewish fraternity, scantily clad in homemade togas and promising to serve breakfast in bed to the highest bidder. Undeterred by some unseemly patches of body hair peeking out from under the Greek garb, Arielle J. Cohen ’04, a Crimson editor, and her roommate Jillian P. Copeland ’04 bought the group for a sum total of $190. “Who can resist five handsome Jewish boys?” Cohen asks. Point taken. I couldn’t resist placing a few bids myself, even for the sake of objective journalism. At the end of the night, I walked away with my own handsome Jewish boy and a date for next weekend.