Living in a Shoe Box (For Two)

I move that we all transfer to Boston University.

Humor me for a moment. We’d lose beautiful Harvard Yard, the amusing rivalry with Yale, popcorn chicken in the dining halls and a host of other things that we have come to love about this place. But we’d get singles. Lots of them. Think about it-that microscopic room you stared at when you first moved in, fearing it would never fit your life within its confines. Then you realized that not only would your 10’x10’ cell have to, but it would need to fit your roommate’s, too.

So what’s so special about BU? A couple of years ago, it opened an $81 million high-rise apartment complex. Northeastern, Amherst, Grinnell, Swarthmore and Trinity, too, are all either building, or have built in the recent past, residence halls composed largely of singles. Some are suite-style, some are even apartment-style with bathrooms, kitchens and huge dining and living rooms. DeWolfe’s few, cherished suites seem to be one of the few housing options for undergraduates here that offer such luxury. That, or the giant singles of far-away Cabot House. So we can get space, we just need to be exiled. Great.

Here, then, is my proposal. We tear down Canaday, or a survey-determined, least-favorite House, and build in its place a large mansion with hundreds of rooms. (Maybe a pool, gym and Swedish massage center as well). Proctors will be forced to wear bow ties at all times and will serve weekly teas in our spacious dens, which won’t have chairs but only dozens of Japanese floor pillows. Other rooms will be filled with Zen rock gardens and mini-waterfalls to accentuate the relaxing mood. The popularity of this new housing complex will undoubtedly be overwhelming, and widespread support for this more luxurious mode of undergraduate life will compel the University to replace aging Houses with new mansions.

My vision, alas, may be a little far-fetched. Yet it is just too hard to hear about friends from Amherst or Simon’s Rock College of Bard talk about having singles, when my own room would explode if more than three people ventured in at the same time. The fact remains that Harvard housing doesn’t live up to Harvard standards. Perhaps I just expect the University to live up to its professed goal of being the best at everything. Until Harvard’s dorms get a little less crowded, I’ll still look enviously across the river at BU’s million-dollar high rises, and dream about the Harvard mansion that will never be.

—Laura L. Krug is a news editor.