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In September, Australia’s National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre warned that there is no physiological benefit, and maybe a great
By The CRIMSON Staff

Retired real-estate developer Bill Martin, 65, has announced plans to redevelop an abandoned park near Hudson, FL, which had once been the site of a racially segregated nudist park, and convert it into a racially inclusive, Christian-themed nudist park.

Expected time until the end of renovations: 259,200 minutes

Time since the expulsion from the Garden of Eden: 3,679,200,000 minutes

Last month, the billionaire mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, had his application for a Sears credit card denied while on a shopping trip in Queens.

Time it took to remedy the situation and extend the mayor a Sears credit line of $4,000: 18 minutes

Time it would take Bloomberg to spend his entire fortune at Sears, assuming a spending rate of $4,000 per minute: 1,250,000 minutes

To combat the ill effects of his countrymen’s pervasive tardiness on the economy, Ecuadorian President Lucio Gutierrez, has initiated a public service campaign to promote punctuality. The campaign began with an interview with Gutierrez on Teleamazonas TV.

Planned length of the interview: 30 minutes

Actual length of the interview, after President Gutierrez arrived 25 minutes late: ~3 Minutes

For $700 per guest, Raw Catering of New York City will provide up-scale buffets served on the body of a nude model. Offerings ranging from grilled steak to sushi are available.

Time on average that the nude models will lay motionless as they serve as human platters: 180 minutes

Time on average that any meaningful amount of the models’ bodies will remain concealed by canapés: 7 minutes

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