Fifteen Worst Things to Say in Section

Worst Things To Say in Section

1. I’m sorry, you must have me confused with someone who GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WARREN COURT!!!

2. Bow before me, puny mortals!

3. Can I go to the bathroom? Ooh. [Grins] Just did.

4. Hey, that was a nice close analysis of Habermas...for a girl.

5. Well, “professor,” if you’d read the original Latin, you’d know...

6. Well, “professor,” if you’d actually watched the “Unsolved Mysteries” episode I’m talking about, you might not think my point was so “irrelevant” and “stupid.”

7. [To TF] Whatever. Get a real job, bozo!

8. Christ! How do they get these on so tight? Can someone help me get the lid off this mayonnaise?

9. Uhh. [Clutches stomach.] Ow...Excuse me, but how can you tell if you’re pregnant?

10. I mean, I’m not asking for an award or anything, but I think you should all appreciate just a little that this is the first time I’ve come to section sober.

11. I feel that my personal experience with VD speaks to this question. Oh, and what’s on the final?

12. I don’t have no problem with you fucking me, but I got a little problem with you not fucking me.

13. This week’s reading seemed really familiar—has it been made into a porno at any point, perchance?

14. Whoa. [Licks textbook.] I didn’t think it was even possible to be this high. [Licks TF.]

15. Well, Mr. Making-Up-Bullshit-Rules, I’m looking at the “section expectations” handout right now and nowhere does it say I’m obligated to come to class with pants on.