FIFTEEN

1. Students Pretending Blair Underwood Is Actually Famous

2. A Bunch of White Guys Seduce First-Years With Roofies, Jack Daniels and Privilege

3. Terrible Unrehearsed Shit With Fans

4. Rollerball

5. Canadian Meat Smokers

6. Canadian Cock Fighters

6. Canadian Cock Smokers

7. Hog Feedin’, Hog Lovin’

8. Dispatch

9. Dancing So Bad It’s Insulting to Actual Filipinos

10. These Days, Diversity Means Token White People. How Far We’ve Come!

11. Dean Lewis Forgets Host’s Name, Name of Event, Where He Parked His Car, House Keys, Belt, Pants

12. Jehovah and His Dancing, Door-Knocking Witnesses

13. Blair Underwood Needs a Place To Stay: Can He Crash in Your Common Room?

14. Members of the Harvard New Jersey Club Glow in the Dark!

15. Larry Summers Eats Singapore