Life of Brian: Six Degrees of Coach Tim Murphy

With Whitey Bulger still on the run from the feds, Tim Murphy has to be considered one of the most well connected men in Boston. Murphy—the man who led the Harvard football team to its first perfect season in 78 years—has been linked to jobs here, there and everywhere this offseason.

Some of you probably even thought Coach had skipped town already, but contrary to what you might have read, he is, in fact, still at Harvard. What about Navy, you ask? Well, that didn’t quite work out. Vanderbilt? Murphy wasn’t interested.

The speculation didn’t end with those schools, however. Coaching vacancy at Notre Dame? Murphy’s got to be a shoo-in. Didn’t you hear? Murphy used to work under current ND athletic director Kevin White at the University of Maine. So never mind Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan and his two Super Bowl rings. Forget Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops and his national title. Murphy’s a definite lock.

Lo and behold, it didn’t work out that way. The Irish went with Stanford’s Tyrone Willingham instead. Maybe that’s for the best, because just last week, Steve Spurrier flew the coop at Florida and Stoops and Shanahan are both saying they aren’t interested.

It’s probably just a matter of time now before Murphy is introduced as the new guy down in Gainesville. Take it from a man who knows—Matt Hayes. Never heard of him? It’s possible Murphy hasn’t either, but that hasn’t stopped Hayes from giving us the scoop on the Harvard coach’s future prospects. Hours after Spurrier announced his resignation last Friday, Hayes wrote a story on The Sporting News website listing Murphy as one of the leading candidates to replace Spurrier.

Hayes’ thinking? “Murphy’s offense is almost identical to the pass-happy scheme Spurrier uses.”

I get it now—Florida likes to pass, and so does Murphy. Duh. The connection seems so obvious now.

I guess it’s a done deal, but just in case things fall through, don’t forget about Stanford. The folks in Palo Alto need a coach now, too, since Willingham left for South Bend. This might be the best fit of all for Murphy. Seeing as Stanford’s nickname is the Cardinal (the color, not the bird), Murphy’s experience guiding a team named for a shade of vermilion would likely also weigh heavily in the minds of the selection committee.

And if not Murphy, then who? Some have mentioned B.C. Coach Tom O’Brien as a possibility. But if O’Brien did leave Chestnut Hill, all that would create is a brand new opening up across the river. I don’t mean to toot Murphy’s horn too hard for the BC job, but get a load of this:

The color of the artificial turf at B.C.’s Alumni Stadium is green. The grass at Harvard Stadium is also green. You connect the dots.

Seriously, though, the coaching carousel has been spinning so fast this offseason, it seems even Murphy wants to get off. When the South Bend Tribune called his home last month during the height of the Notre Dame search, Murphy told the reporter that he wished he hadn’t picked up the phone.

Maybe, just maybe, Murphy is content here in Cambridge. On the flip side, maybe he has even bigger aspirations than Notre Dame. And why shouldn’t he, with all these NFL coaches dropping like flies? Just yesterday, the overly emotional Jim Mora got canned in Indianapolis. To my knowledge, Murphy has never cried at a press conference. Put him on the short list.

Or perhaps Coach Murphy is mulling a career change. Just think of the possibilities open to him, some right in our own backyard.

Bumbling university president got your school in a public relations mess? Who needs him? Coach Murphy can hobnob with the best of ’em. And boy does he like wine and cheese!

Af-Am department short on professors after rift with administration? Hire Coach Murphy—he watches Oprah!

Murphy’s name has surfaced in several other circles as well. The Baseball Hall of Fame announced its Class of 2002 yesterday. Murphy and Gary Carter fell just a few votes shy of election.

Also, it’s no sure thing yet, but keep an eye out for Murphy in Wendy’s ads now that former fast food magnate Dave Thomas has passed away. Reports over the next few days may also consider Murphy in the running for knighthood, sainthood and/or the papacy.

New York City, of course, already has its new mayor, and Murphy doesn’t live there anyway, but word on the street is the people of New York brought him in for an interview.

And lastly, speaking of New York mayors, wouldn’t Murphy be the perfect choice to succeed Rudy Giuliani as Time’s Man of the Year? I think so. Rumor has it they both favor the 4-3 defense.