Nothing stinks too much for Wigg H-12

That’s right. Nothing, especially an old, foul smelling refrigerator found on the sidewalk outside Wigg, stinks too much for the guys in H-12. So naturally, when they found this smelly old remnant of a fridge outside on the pavement they embraced it, they carried it inside, they scrubbed it, they washed it, and most importantly, they loved it.

The guys in H-12 loved their refrigerator like one of their own, but this marriage of a free kitchen appliance with four hungry freshmen was not meant to be. While watching a movie in the Wigg common room, it came to the attention of another Wigg resident sitting near a window that the beloved fridge was on the move, carried off by a band of renegade hooligans bent on stealing the rightful property of four guys in H-12. Although the residents of H-12 gave chase, they could not track down the burglars who had nabbed the fridge from the hallway just outside their room.

Being that Mark Hill ’05, the angry southern roommate, had developed more of an emotional attachment to the fridge than the other roommates, it was only natural that he would spearhead the effort to ensure its return. Flyers went up all over the yard asking, “Where is our fridge?” and “Will you be the one to call the find-the-fridge cold line with info @3-3949?”

Hill, Stefen Vanderweil ’05, Schuylern Mann ’05, and Mike Klinger ’05 came back to their room after a hard night of hanging posters to discover a ransom note taped to their door: “Your fridge is okay. Remain by the phone lines for further contact. Miss call, miss fridge. Use the bluelights, over and out.” Andthere was something else with the cryptic note: a small photo of the suspects’ middle fingers taken in front of the fridge.

After seeing the fridge intact, the roommates’ resolve strengthened. Mark feared for the fridge’s well being. Stefen yearned for blood. Schulyer wanted to hit someone with his bat. Mike trembled and wanted to cry. Acting on a tip that the swim team was involved, the H-12 boys used a freshmen swim roster along with a facebook to locate some suspects in Thayer. They donned wool hats, sunglasses, and baseball bats, setting out on an epic quest through the yard on a mission to locate their fridge. Busting though doors and into Thayer rooms that night, the H-12 boys acted out a twisted version of good cop/bad cop, adding the role of big-scary-Japanese-man-lurking-in-the-shadows (Schuyler), to their charade.

Sadly, after a night of terror, the fridge was never recovered. A few days later, however, an indecipherable message was left on the H-12 answering machine, which, although composed mostly of static, seems to sound like the phrase “Schuyler, the fridge is in the library.” To the utterly obsessed Stefen and Mark, who tried playing the message back at a slower speed in order to make out the words, this event was riveting. And the search continues.