A Time to Reflect

When I think about what I have learned in the past four years, the lessons that come to mind do not involve electronegative chemistry molecules, unstable ancient monarchies or brilliant yet confusing philosophers. I credit my roommates, my friends and my extracurricular activities with teaching me the most important things I learned in college, including the following:

•Trust yourself.

Nothing is completely reliable, except those few friends you can call at 3 a.m. for any reason. Stores in the Square or professors’ office hours change often and without notice. Advisers are great when talking about their own field of interest but can be less than satisfactory when it comes to choosing classes or jobs. Dining halls close during senior week and leave you hungry.

With all this instability, second guessing yourself is a big mistake. Believe me: you are capable, competent and able to make good decisions. If you couldn’t believe it your first year (I did not), try to believe it now—if you’ve made it this far, it must be true. So don’t look back with regrets; know that you made the best decisions you could and you will continue to do so.

If you can't trust yourself, whom can you trust?

•Get enough sleep.

It always seems that if I stay up an extra half-hour, I'll get more done and be more ready for the next day, but in fact, the opposite has been true. I usually end up sleeping through lectures, making me feel guilty and upsetting my mother. (To be fair, my roommate insists that “Lecture sleep is the best sleep I’ve ever had” and thinks that this piece of advice is misguided.) While it is incredibly hard to let go of the current day and it always feels like those last few things will easily get done, it’s really not worth it. If only science classes didn’t start so early in the morning…

•Enjoy the little things.

When I feel upset, the beauty of a tree in Kirkland House courtyard or the excitement of tourists photographing buildings, squirrels and each other is much more likely to make me smile than any attempt to convince myself that the big picture suggests I should feel happy. I recommend against trying to philosophize oneself into a happy mood; so far, it has never worked for me, while ice cream and funny movies have an impeccable track record.

•Persevere despite, or along with, the questions.

At various times, this place has made me question everything I believe, from religion to moral standards to intellectual approaches. College is especially a time for these questions because the givens of childhood, all the decisions our parents once made for us, are now up to us. We decide not only the details of what classes to take, but also the big picture. With whom will I keep in touch? How do I spend my time? Are my parents’ decisions really what I think are right? How do I decide? The answers to these questions can inform everything we do. And therefore, not knowing the answers can sometimes feel paralyzing.

Many times in college, these questions did paralyze me, and one place I looked for an answer was religion. But when I did, nothing emerged clearly for me. Judaism has rules about the details—what to eat and how to treat people—but I couldn’t find the meaning of life listed anywhere clearly. However, as I thought about this during the high holiday season this past year, that time in the fall during which Jews reevaluate their decisions, I realized one important thing—that season of introspection ends!

Yes, the Jewish calendar clearly mandates time to consider issues of priorities and values. Days are set aside for us to rethink how we act and how we live. But when the sun sets on Yom Kippur, the book of life is closed and put on the shelf until the next year. Whether or not we like the answers Judaism or anyone else offers, whether we have any answers at all, there is a time to search and a time to move on, taking the answers that we’ve considered on our path with us.

As soon as the high holidays end, Judaism tells me it’s time to go do something. Build a hut for the upcoming holiday of Sukkot. Make up all the work you missed over the holidays. Go to your meetings and see your friends. In other words, the calendar cycle enforces an end to the season, just as it mandates its beginning.

I find much comfort in thinking of the Jewish calendar this way, and I think the college calendar is similar. We come here, spend four years rethinking everything we’ve ever believed, and are then dumped back into the world expected to function, even function well. If I continued in my overly analytical way to question all my assumptions, considering the theories I’ve learned, the contradictions between these ideas and the injustices in the world, I would be a useless employee and unproductive member of society. So while we should continue learning and thinking critically, I am excited for this opportunity to do, to act on those values even when I still have difficulty justifying them.

I will take my college textbooks and coursepacks with me as I move on, along with the phone numbers of some of the most amazing people I have ever met. But most importantly, I will take these lessons—the knowledge that it is worth trying, and that I have the possibility of succeeding—wherever I go.

Shira H. Fischer ’01, a biochemical sciences concentrator in Kirkland House, was associate online chair of The Crimson in 2000.