March to the Sea: It's Awesome with a Capital 'A,' Baby

Note: For a guide to understanding this column, please refer to the "V-Speak" feature at espn.go.com.

OOOHHHHHH!!! Dick Vitale here! Hey, college basketball fans! It's time for the Big Dance! It's Showtime, Baby! It's Awesome with a capital 'A!' It's Strawberry Shortcake Time! It's March Madness!

So, I know you awl must wondering, "Hey, Dickie V! Who's going to the Final Four this year, the ultimate Dance Party?" Well, I'll tell ya!

This year, I'm going out on a limb. You gotta love the Duke Dukies. Coach K, baby! They have more Prime Time Players than an episode of Temptation Island! Jason Williams! He's a superstar, baby! He's a surf and turfer! Shane Battier! OHHH! Naismith Award, baby! He's a high riser! He's a Human Space Ship! And with Carlos Boozer coming back, look out, baby! It's Dance City! Check it out, Minneapolis, the Dukies are coming to town!

Who's gonna join Coach K at the Party? You can write the invitation already, because you better believe Arizona will be there! Lute! I tawked to Coach Olson just the other day, and he was raving to me about Loren Woods now that he's back from his suspension. Jason Gardner, too, this guy can flat out play. You need a point to get to the tourney, and Gardner can dish the rock with the best of 'em.

Oh, Tom Izzo's in the Tourney? Why didn't you say so! Turn up the music in Motown, baby! Michigan State is returning to the Dance! The Flintstones are extinct except for Charlie Bell, but the senior can do it awl. Andre Hutson can put the rock in the hoop too. It's awl about senior leadership in the tourney, and the Spartans have what it takes.

But, I haven't mentioned Stanford yet! They've got the Collins Brothers, baby! They're the best brother combination since the Karamazovs! The Cardinals are 28-2, baby! Two losses! How can they lose? They've been the best team in basketball all season! They beat the Dukies! They beat Arizona! They beat UCLA! Come on, baby! This is the team that's gonna win it all!

Of course, I haven't talked about Maryland yet! OOOHHH! Gary Williams, baby, he's gonna cut the nets down in Minneapolis, baby! The Terrapins! Stevie Blake, baby! He's a sophomore and a Diaper Dandy! He can shoot the trifecta! He led the ACC in assists, baby! He's another Elliott Prasse-Freeman! The Terps shoulda beat the Dukies three times this year! And, they beat Virginia, who was ranked No. 7 at the time, 102-67! One-hundred-and-two! The Terps can't lose, baby!

And we haven't even mentioned Indiana! No Bobby Knight, but this team's a sleeper, a dark horse, an underdog from the Big 10. The Bald-Dome Index says Indiana's going to go far! Mike Davis, what a coach! Gotta love him! Of course, Bobby Knight's a great coach too. I'm not knocking Mr. Knight. Bobby, what a guy! He's a superstar, baby! Texas Tech would be so lucky to get him! So would UMass. If Bobby came to town, there'd be a party in the Mullins Center. Party in the Mullins, baby! Go Bobby! We love you! But Coach Davis, whatta guy! Indiana! Final Four baby!

Yet, in order to get to the Final Four, Indiana will have to go through Stanford. And Maryland. But, that's not important, because they're going all the way, baby!

Watch out for Gonzaga, too, baby! And, don't count out Kentucky. Tubby Smith, what a coach. And look out for Troy Bell and the Boston College Eagles. Al Skinner, he may be a Cream Puff Delight, but between Bell and Diaper Dandy Ryan Sidney, these Eagles will soar! And Ohio State and Jim O'Brien? Come on, baby! He'd make the All Frank Lloyd Wright team! He's an architect, baby! Slam, Bam, Jam!

Of course, every team can't make it past the first round. The NCAA is all about winning and losing, and you have to lose with grace and dignity because that is what college basketball demands. So, sorry Monmouth and Hampton, but I'm not picking you to go to the Final Four. All the best to the players and the coaches and their families. I love them all! Maybe next year, but the V-noggin says you two teams are not gonna see Minneapolis' lights this year.

I don't claim to always be right, but I've got a good feeling about my selections this year. One more thing--watch out for Illinois, Iowa State, Ole Miss, Virginia, Florida, North Carolina, and Kansas. And keep your eye on Georgia, Missouri, Utah State, Cincinnati, BYU, Wisconsin, and Georgetown. And Oklahoma State and Iowa. And Creighton.

And don't count out Monmouth and Hampton! They all could surprise! We could see any of them in the Final Four! Because remember, the V said so! Enjoy the tournament, baby! I know I will! Billy Donovan, what a great coach! Not that Western Kentucky's Dennis Felton isn't. He'd make the All-Sportscenter Team…