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Things People Say While Reading FM

“Wait, that’s not how you spell [insert noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, conjunction, article or ‘boo-ya’ here].” “It’s funny how
By The CRIMSON Staff

  1. “Wait, that’s not how you spell [insert noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, conjunction, article or ‘boo-ya’ here].”

  2. “It’s funny how wrong this is.”

  3. “I could take a dump, smear it on newsprint and deliver it to half the campus, and it would be way better than this.”

  4. “It’s rare to read something and think, ‘the people who make this are assholes.’ But that’s how I feel when I read FM.”

  5. “I can’t believe Gossip Guy knew about the time I took the homeless, cracked-out pit girl home! Verily, he is All-Seeing, All-Knowing.”

  6. “God, I so want to give Vicky C. Hallett the banging of a lifetime.”

  7. “Not enough magazines these days will substitute cuss words for humor. Fuck yeah, that’s what I appreciate about FM.”

  8. “Where’s Groovy Train? That random assortment of unfunny things and bolded words was the highlight of my week!”

  9. “Thank God FM has the courage to be bitterly misogynistic. Someone has to put sluts and cracka-asses in their place.”

  10. “Does anyone read this shit? Cuz I was gonna chuck it in the fireplace.”

  11. “When I want to learn about my world, I turn to the “Minutes” column. I like my facts presented in ways that make it difficult-to-impossible to make any sense of them. Oh my god! A-Ha released the “Take On Me” video 441,504,000 minutes ago!”

  12. “[Derisive belch].”

  13. “What the Harvard community really needs is a poorly-written, shoddily-designed, less-frequently published and inferior-in-all-ways knockoff of FM. I shall found a magazine and christen it Flare.”

  14. “God, this blows. What’s on TV?”

  15. “Wait, Deez what? Oh no! The next sentence reads ‘Deez nuts!’ You got me again, FM!”

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