The FM Drinking Game!

We know that everyone reads FM on the toilet. In an effort to move reading to other locations and during other bodily functions, FM presents The Official FM Drinking Game

Warning: The amount of alcohol consumed in this game corresponds to the number of typographical errors, unsupported assertions and outright lies found in FM. Be prepared to drink A LOT.

Appropriate age level: Old enough to open the bottle.

Number of Players: One. (Or more, if you’re some kind of social butterfly.)

Setting: Common rooms, bedrooms, bathrooms, gutters, jail cells—anywhere FM is read!

Materials not Included: Cheap light beer/malt liquor/locally distilled vodka of choice.

Instructions: Gather around the latest issue of FM. Pass around the magazine, with each person taking a page, starting with the front page. Carry out all the following rules that apply to your page.

Rules:

Eight drinks for you to distribute for every time “FM” or “Fifteen Minutes” appears on your page.

Give out as many drinks as your page number. So if you have page 19, distribute 19 gulps any way you’d like. (Here’s your chance to get people back.)

Six drinks for the person on your right everytime you feel the graphic has little or no relation to the story it accompanies.

Five drinks every time a writer’s roommate or blockmate is the only source for a major investigative story.

Make the person to your left take a drink for each of the photos on your page that appears without a photo credit.

Four drinks for the person across from you for every time graphic depictions of vulgar sex acts, the expression “Boo-ya!” or tales of wanton sluttery are substituted for actual humor.

Everybody chugs for every totally non sequitur listing written by me. Pineapple.

For the “As It Were” section, take a drink for every person that you know. Down in one if you’re the one getting it on in the top right picture. For shame.

Eight drinks if you’re a freshman who thinks it’s acceptable to talk in section. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. We don’t want to hear it, little dude. And yes, we know this doesn’t relate to FM, but you little fuckers deserve it.

For “Pick of the Square” chug an entire beer/malt liquer/locally-distilled vodka if you’ve ever owned or eaten the pick. (Harsh, but true.)

For “A Night Out,” make the person directly across from you chug an entire beer if you’ve ever been there.

Take seven drinks if you think the person featured in “Scoped” is not hot.

For every time a Gossip Guy item is about a guy who drinks too much and then throws up in a funny place, take three drinks.

Cut along the dotted lines... and enjoy!