Crimson Quip Elicits Women's Wants

John A. Hulsey '03 told the Roving Reporter Dec. 15 that he wanted to know what women wanted.

Be careful what you wish for.

Within a week, his inbox was flooded with e-mails from women he did not know telling him about their deepest desires.

(This, contrary to popular belief, does not happen to all men on The Crimson. Hulsey is a Crimson editor).

The Roving Reporter question of the week--"What do you want for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa?" elicited a number of creative responses, including Hulsey's, who said, "I want the power Mel Gibson has in his new movie, What Women Want."

Hulsey thought his comment was amusing, but had no idea what sort of ramifications it would have.

"I guess I seem friendly or something," he said. "I think I am a definite weird magnet."

At last count, Hulsey has received over 60 e-mail messages from these women, many of whom attend Harvard Law School and Williams College.

"Obviously men aren't being attentive to women's wants, and that's probably what prompted these women to contact me," Hulsey said.

But the real reason Hulsey has been the target of all of this female attention was not the desperate state of male-female relations, as he believed.

Masterminding the prank was Elizabeth K. Dotson-Westphalen '00, who met Hulsey last year on the First-year Arts Program.

Now in New York working for an Internet startup, Dotson-Westphalen saw Hulsey's quote online and devised a prank to make his wish a reality.

"I wanted to barrage him," she said.

So she sent his quote to women she knew he didn't know and asked them to explain a hope or desire in any way they wanted.

The e-mail made the rounds quickly. Hulsey received notes from women in D.C., Chicago, New York, London and other locales. Although only one undergraduate e-mailed him, a number of women at the Law School, who were in the midst of exams at the time, found out that e-mailing Hulsey was a great procrastination method.

Carrie D. Griffin, a second-year law student, the third link in one of these chains, addressed Hulsey as "oh struggling one" and proceeded to explain to him that women are looking for men who anticipate their needs.

"People who got it forwarded it on--and it just mushroomed," said Griffin, who sent it to at least seven other women, mostly her undergraduate friends from Swarthmore.

Hulsey's theories that men and women could not communicate did ring true to at least some of the women.

"Women wish men knew what they wanted without having to be told," Valerie Y.C. Hung said.

Dotson-Westphalen said the main reason people joined in was for the humor factor, but more serious issues came into play.

"I think it's partly that it's helping out one hapless member of the male gender," Dotson-Westphalen said.

But to most, the whole thing was a joke. "It's always good to have an excuse to tell people what they want," said Nina A. Kohn, a second-year law student. "I don't think it's commentary on male-female relations."

Hulsey and Dotson-Westphalen both noted the fact that the responses were so wide ranging.

Sarah E. Ludwig, who works in publishing in New York, said she wanted new clothes. More specifically, "a new three-quarters-length coat from the Gap (in black) and a pair of caramel-colored, knee-high leather boots."

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Francesca Gomes, who works in an auction house and went to Williams with another woman who received the message, wrote out a stream of consciousness dissertation of what she thought about in an average day.

A group of three women instructed Hulsey on where to shop for holiday presents for women; another woman wanted to find a bookstore with the right atmosphere.

One particularly bold respondent declared: "I want to see a guy wear one of those men's thongs I see so prominently displayed at my local department store. THEN I want to ask him how it feels to be seamless."

Hulsey has not responded to any of these women and does not plan on it.

"I don't think I'm going to until a cold, lonely night in February," he said. But if he were to contact any of them, it would be the one who explained, "Basically, I'm just looking for someone who doesn't mind talking about Heidegger in bed."

At press time, Hulsey did not know his friend was behind the phenomenon.

He had this message he wanted to convey: "In response to all the attention my comment has been getting, I am putting out a call to all women: John Hulsey wants to know what you want!"

For the record, Hulsey has not seen the Mel Gibson flick yet and does not plan on it. "I heard it kinda sucked," he said.

--Staff Writer Victoria C. Hallett can be reached at hallett@fas.harvard.edu