'Poon College Guide Hits Shelves, Sells Big

Wherever there's misfortune, the Lampoon--the semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine--is there to guffaw at the misery.

So while high school seniors across the country bite their nails, pull out their hair and have nervous breakdowns over getting into college, the funnymen (and woman or two) have published The Harvard Lampoon's Guide to College Admissions, released Sept. 3.

Billed as "the comprehensive, authoritative and utterly useless source of where to go and how to get in," the parody has it all: how to get into choice prep schools, scores of SAT tips, college rankings and hints for dealing with roommates.

According to Lampoon President Stephen C. Hely '02, the response has been overwhelming.

" Colleen, America's sweetheart [from 'Survivor'], has read it and sent us a letter. John Tesh, Pat O'Brien from Access Hollywood, Roger Ebert," Hely gushes. "They're planning an 'E! Wild On' the Lampoon. Teller sent us a letter too but Teller actually sends us a lot of letters."

Saleswise, the book is performing spectacularly.

On Amazon.com, the guide has shot up in the sales ranking, from near the 1.5 million mark before release to 22,309 as of yesterday.

"It's beating the Celestine Prophesy and it's doing better than any book by a Harvard professor," Hely said. "We're killing Demonic Males" he continued, referring to anthropology professor Richard W. Wrangham's popular book on aggression and cooperation.

The reviews posted on the Amazon.com web site are glowing--but they all appear to have been posted by Lampoon writers themselves.

While the Lampoon's occasionally published magazine is known for its esoteric, if somewhat scatological pop references, their new book seems to be targeted at a much wider audience.

The Poonsters say they didn't really change their humor-writing techniques.

To test their pieces, Chun (known in the group for his "mainstream" sense of humor) said the others locked him in a closet and listen to how many times he chuckles.

And the Lampoon had some professional help with writing the book. Michael Colton '97, former Lampoon editor, former Crimson editor and co-author of Up Your Score: The Underground Guide to the SAT, served as an expert consultant in the early stages of the process.

Other alums also lent a hand. Conan C. O'Brien '85, last year's Class Day Speaker and two-time Lampoon president, wrote an unsigned piece for the last section of the book.

The project began in the Spring of 1999, when Chun fielded a phone call from Time Warner Books asking the Lampoon to write a guide.

"[The guide] had been stewing all of our lives," Chun said.

So last year, a group of Poonsters piled into a van for a 12-day road trip affectionately referred to as "Lampy's East Coast Kegger Romp."

From Bates College in Maine to the University of Virginia, the clan culled inspiration from the lives of students along the East Coast.

"I can't say too much, but we went to the biggest frats, took part in the

most raucous nonsense, and drank a lot of a drink we invented called 'Poon

Tang," Hely said.

They met a cast of colorful characters, including a fellow named Blossom at the University of Maryland.

"We were hanging out with Blossom and Chun did something that really made him mad," Hely said, "So he said, 'I'm going to haze you.'"

Such incidents sparked the creative juices that came up with gems like their description of academics at Bikini College: "Where learning isn't just about memorizing facts and taking tests but also involves wearing bikinis."

With sales booming, the Lampoon is not overly concerned with publicity.

"Look for our graffiti on toll booths," Hely said.

Next up for the Lampoon is The RollerWar Chronicles, a sci-fi/fantasy parody set to be released in the spring of 2001.

"It's a novel set in a post apocalyptic future like Mad Max, the Postman Escape from New York and She's the One," Chun said.