O'Brien Returns to Harvard

According to comedian Conan C. O'Brien '85, the Class of 2000 better take full advantage of any social functions tonight, because they sure will get their rest tomorrow during Amartya K. Sen's Commencement Address.

"My goal is to be half as funny...as moral philosopher and welfare economist Amartya Sen, " said O'Brien in his Class Day address yesterday. "Better bring a calculator. It will be a nerdfest."

O'Brien, the host of "Late Night" and former two-term president of the Harvard Lampoon, a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine, delivered a comedic 20-minute address at the approximately two-hour long program.

The afternoon also included a moving Harvard Oration by Brooke M. Ellison '00, a second Harvard Oration by Jason R. Stevenson '00 , the humorous Ivy Oration by Jacob F. Lentz '00 and opening remarks by First Class Marshal Justin M. Krebs '00.

O'Brien reminisced about his time at Harvard before recounting his rise to fame.

"I was very honored to be invited as Class Day speaker. The last time I was invited to come to Harvard it cost me $110,000," O'Brien joked.

The opening half of his address focused on the Harvard experience.

"I had the ugliest picture in the freshman facebook," O'Brien said. "I thought it was for Harvard's private records...Then, they put my picture next to [a woman] who deferred admission to star in Dynasty."

"After freshman year, I moved to Mather, a house designed by the same firm that built Hitler's bunker," he added. "If Hitler had conducted the war from Mather House, he would've killed himself a year earlier."

O'Brien received some of his biggest applause when he mocked Scott A. Abell '72, the president-elect of the Harvard Alumni Association, who subtly encouraged the graduates to donate in an earlier speech.

"You never leave Harvard [because] the Harvard fundraising committee will be on your ass until the day you die. They are in Mt. Auburn cemetery right now digging up the corpse of Henry Adams, [Class of 1858]."

Halfway through the address, O'Brien switched to what he called a more "serious" tone when recounting going from unemployed comic writer, temping at the Santa Monica branch of Wilson's House of Suede and Leather to writing stints on Saturday Night Live, the Simpsons and ultimately hosting "Late Night."

"When this insane, inexplicable opportunity came my way [of auditioning for Late Night], I had the relaxed confidence of someone who knew he had no shot," he said. "That attitude made the difference."

O'Brien told the Class of 2000 not to be afraid of faltering.

"I've been praised and criticized," O'Brien said. "I believe my mistakes have been necessary...Your biggest liability as Harvard students is your need to succeed."

"If you can really laugh at yourself, long and hard, people will think that you're drunk," he added.

O'Brien's method of imparting wisdom was a big hit for some of the approximately 6,000 in attendance.

"I thought he had a lot good points," said Hayley H. Vaughan '00. "He went back and forth between being funny and serious."

"He was hysterical. I watch him all the time on TV, and he had a greater theme [than just being funny]," said Sonali Das '00.

Marvin B. Tagaban, a member of the Class Day committee that invited O'Brien, said the speech had the exact comedic touch the selection committee was looking for after last year's more dry address by former Sen. Alan K. Simpson (R.-Ariz).

"I thought he was an excellent choice for Class Day speaker," Tagaban said. "We are all very pleased."

Before O'Brien and Lentz elicited laughter from the audience, a number of students were visibly moved to tears by Ellison.

Ellison, who is paralyzed from the neck down, delivered the speech from a wheelchair and told the audience about sharing a room with her mother for all four years.

"I would not be here if it weren't for my mother," she said. "She would not be here if it weren't for me. And so it goes. None of us would be here if it weren't for the love and caring of someone."

Ellison said she found today's Harvard accepting of difference, even if the College might not have been as accepting hundreds of years ago.

"There were times when I thought that the John Harvard statue was looking at us and saying what in heaven's name are you doing here....I realized John Harvard was from a different time," she said.

After her conclusion, Ellison received a lengthy standing ovation with her beaming mother smiling beside her.

"Miracles do happen," she said. "They have happened to me, and they will happen to you. You only need to look at the people in your life to see them."

The Class Day events also included the presentation of the Ames Awards to Caroline A. Rothert '00 and Joseph M. Garland '00. The Ames Awards recognize those who have distinguished themselves through community service during their time at Harvard.