Fifteen Minutes: Climb Every Mountain, and More: Spiderman Survives in the City

Everyone gets stressed. And many students find a release by pounding a few beers. One first-year, however, has a novel and unique way of easing the tension of Harvard's academic demands, which he calls "urban spelunking." Translation: the man climbs buildings. All kinds of buildings.

"It's a stupid little thing I do to pass the time," explains the freshman, who would like to be known as "Spyder." But doesn't spelunking usually involve probing the dark, damp interiors of caves? To Spyder, caves have transformed themselves into the urban landscape.

Apparently, it all started when Spyder's sister, a student at Cornell, introduced her little brother to exploring tunnels inside buildings. "We entered a steam tunnel [at Cornell]...which my sister said allowed her access to places all around campus." They didn't go very far that evening, but it got Spyder intrigued, and he avowed to continue spelunking, both below and above ground, at Harvard. "And that's where spelunking came from."

"We have a competitive relationship," Spyder says. "There's a picture of her and a guy on the tallest building on campus, overlooking Cornell during a sunrise. She had to go into the steam tunnel, through a ventilation shaft and a nuclear accelerator, and then up an elevator shaft to get to it." Since then, Spyder has wanted to beat his sister at her own game.

It's 1:30 a.m., and Spyder is bored and burned-out. He needs a break. In meticulous style, the adventurer slips on an entirely black outfit. "I usually wear dark clothes specifically not to get noticed." Stepping out of the warm dorm room, Spyder makes his way over to the building du jour and proceeds to scout it out. "The problem with Harvard buildings a lot of the time is they're so Harvardy--their roofs are very sloped, often slippery when wet, and the tiles aren't secure."

Indeed, there have been some scary times. Spyder once attempted a climb (on a building he'd rather not give the name of) and slipped when the tile came loose. He hung perilously some 20-25 feet above ground, holding on with just one hand before gathering himself and struggling back to safety. So far, Spyder hasn't hurt himself.

"I've rock-climbed before" Spyder declares. "I'm kinda a big outdoorsy, crunchy type."

His friends would agree. Those that know Spyder best are understanding, if not supportive. "It's not one of those 'Indian in the skyscraper' things," says one friend, elucidating the complex nature of Spyder. "Not like Encino man, but, like raised by wolves, fish-out-of-water kind of things."

So what buildings has Spyder done so far? "Byerly, Harvard Stadium, Weld Boathouse, the Carpenter Center and a freshman dorm I'd prefer to not name," he says.

Spyder is not the lawless type, nor is he that one crazy guy everyone has on their floor. "He's not one of those people who likes to hurt himself for fun," explains another friend. "He wants to be a doctor when he grows up. He wants to travel around the world, behind expedition groups in case anyone hurts him or herself." Spyder confirms that the expedition-group doctor is a particular dream of his, but thinks he will probably never realize it.

There are some structures Spyder just simply won't attempt. For one thing, Spyder says, he'll never do anything to get himself kicked out, like going up on the crane. Furthermore, he won't go on churches, and for good reason. "I don't believe in higher powers, but I don't want to piss anyone off." He continues, "It's an agnostic kinda thing, I guess. If I'm wrong, I don't want to be really wrong."

Undoubtedly, however, Spyder gets a thrill out of urban spelunking, and he looks spiffy when he's dressed head-to-toe in dark garb like someone outside of M-80 on a Thursday night. The challenge of climbing aside, Spyder also has to be on the lookout for wandering HUPD. "I was just about to climb up this one fire escape," says Spyder, "when I heard someone yell at me. Naturally, I nonchalantly walked away."

He would like to take things underground--like his sister--and explore Harvard's underbelly, but Spyder is stumped on how to get around so far. He shows no signs of giving up, though. Spelunking is how he relaxes; it's a part of his mystique. "It adds to his personality," says Kristin R. Hoelting '03. "In fact, it's a mysterious, alluring part of his personality." Indeed, although Spyder says he doesn't do this to impress girls, urban spelunking is a definitive part of his being an immensely handsome young bachelor. Girls can't help but notice that "he's attractive," as one admirer states.

Beyond the fan club, the lurking in the shadows, the intrigue and the passion, Spyder is like any other first-year. Sucking on a Coke, he details a life that is a mix of expos and fencing. Besides his unusually attractive figure, he is like one of any number of undergraduates; he's a "funny, lighthearted" guy, friends report.

The next challenge for Spyder, besides finding access to Harvard's underground network of tunnels, will be Memorial Hall and Widener. It's an immense challenge, for sure, but for Spyder, it's just another evening of stress relief. For some, calming the nerves means reaching for a Coors Light. For Spyder, however, where every building is a mountain, this handsome first-year heads for the Rockies in his own way.