Fifteen Minutes: Be My Lover, Doll

There are certain ubiquitous qualities that comprise all acclaimed lovers. Obvious attractions include personality, humor, attitude and sex. However, many questing for the perfect suitor come to an unsuccessful end. While some people remain celibate and repressed, others go plastic. Star-crossed lovers, don't fret. Realdoll.com offers a solution for unrequited love.

A product called the "Realdoll" is a surprisingly realistic rendition of the female form. Dubbed a blend of fantasy and reality, realdoll.com boasts that its doll bears "elastic flesh, an articulated skeleton and sexy features like no other love doll in the world." This doll is no flotation device. A concoction of silicon and steal, the real doll is made precisely to the specifications of its creator. Every aspect of the doll can be altered--from height, weight and bust size to shoe size, pubic hair color and style.

As with most inventions, the best measure of popularity is the satisfaction of the consumer. With realdoll.com, success isn't even a question. To some, the quandary is not whether to buy, but rather, how many. An anonymous customer exults on a web posting, "your doll is exactly as advertised and has fulfilled all of my expectations and more." He adds, "The only thing better would be 2 dolls. I don't know when I'll be able to afford another one, but I'm working on it."

Although it may seem as though the "Realdoll" is merely an anatomically correct mannequin, another customer, whose name is withheld by request, expresses a feeling of companionship with his new playmate. "She arrived at roughly 1 p.m....She made the journey well, she was strapped in her seat. The only trouble was that her left shoe had come off."

Among other things, the "Realdoll" provides a means to quench primitive animal desires of males. What do women think of this eroticization of plastic and steel? Heather McGinley, a first-year at Syracuse University, asserts, "unless it has a penis, I'm not interested." Breehan R. Kelley '03 adds "That's so wack, it's insane." She queries, "can you try it out and send it back if you don't like it?" To answer this, realdoll.com stresses its "all sales are final" policy.

So what is the price of unconditional love? According to realdoll.com, it starts at a mere $5,249.00. In addition, realdoll.com offers an abundance of accessories. Some of these include extra wigs, priced at $100 each and a silicone repair kit that contains "everything you will need to fix any small tears that may have occurred on your doll." This essential accouterment sells for $50. Of course, vaginal, anal and oral entry are spared at no additional expense to the consumer.

--T. W. Simpson