The Coolest Part of Kirkland? Just Call Him Bob.

Kirkland House has a lot going for it--a gleaming new kitchen, its own cozy library, actively interested tutors and endearingly quirky residents who throw discretion out the window for one wild week in December leading up to the notorious "Incestfest."

Besides delectable Master's desserts and the most dignified Junior Common Room around, Kirkland House has Bob.

Bob Butler, the security guard, to be more specific.

Keeping the house safe since 1985, Bob takes a personal interest in everything Kirkland--from the House committee's agenda to what's happening on a Saturday night.

"At Shakespeare night last year, Bob walked in and gave this monologue from Romeo and Juliet about love and devotion. It was amazing," says Benjamin J. Allen '00.

Grant P. Christman '00 remembers Bob showing up with pizza for students slaving away in one of Kirkland's study rooms.

Bob can seem rather gruff at times--with black eyes that penetrate out from under bushy eyebrows, he can be scary to those who don't know any better--but he manages to connect with his charges through biting wit and genuine interest in what they're doing.

If a student walks through Kirkland archway when Bob is there, he will probably be asked, "And where have you been?" or "Where are we off to?"

One dining hall worker in Kirkland doesn't like to make the walk to her car alone in the dark.

Bob walks with her, all the while affectionately grumbling about what a pain she is.

Tim T. Daub '01 makes a special trip most nights from his suite in DeWolfe to see Bob.

"When the Simpsons are on, its time to hang out with Bob," he says.

The security guard has own style of keeping the peace.

Last month, he knocked on the door of a suite that was hosting a birthday party and invited himself in. He had a piece of cake, surveyed the scene of soda and chips, and said good night.

When he's not pacing around Kirkland to see what everyone's up to, he sits in the semi-darkness of the house office, listening to classic oldies.

Bob says he doesn't have a philosophy about being a cool security guard.

"I just do it," he says. "I talk to the kids, I'm interested in them. Drunk kids, they're my only problem."

--Joyce K. McIntyre