Fifteen Minutes: Bartending Bagels

After their last final exam, seven seniors had a mission: get trashed at Finagle-A-Bagel. The bakery boasts not only the famous Bagel Buzz saw, but a drink menu as well--complete with domestic and imported beer, red and white wine and even champagne. Why bagels and beer? In order to circumvent Square zoning laws that outlaw certain types of chains, the Faneuil Hall-based cafe has been forced to serve up cabernet along with cream cheese. Faced with militant, underage bouncers, sky high prices and a paltry selection, the thirsty bunch had a daunting task before them.

The upstairs storefront looked like any other bagel chain, but after a trip down the short flight of steps, the crew found themselves in a hopping bagel bar. Mood muzak blared in the background, but the yuppie, thirty-somethings already present were more interested in devouring "energy bar" bagels than scoping the scene. The Internet lounge, with its massive gray couches, sat empty, as did the counter in front of the beer taps and wine display. Though the bagel business was brisk, it seemed no one but the celebrating seniors were interested in imbibing.

Undaunted, the first customer sauntered up to the counter and requested an Amstel Light. The youngster behind the cash register, after getting over the shock of the order, called for an over-18 employee from the back. Squeaking, "Sorry, I'm not allowed to ring it up," he deferred to his co-worker, of dubious age herself. Although his colleague accepted the Florida driver's license without question, the minor requested a second look. Glancing down, he announced, "It says she turns 21 on 2/3/99. She's not 21 yet!" After a gentle reminder of the recent millennium celebration, he sheepishly surrendered the ID and gave the go-ahead for the order. When the glass arrived with as much foam as beer, the $4.25 bill seemed a bit pricey. One by one, the members of the group got their drinks and settled into a quiet table to await their meals. Thanks to Finagle-A-Bagel's stellar service, the gang drained their beers before the bagels had even arrived. Their spirits downed, the gang gave up all hopes for drunken revelry, finished their meals, and left, with the 10 p.m. closing time looming blurrilybefore them.

Finagle-A-Bagel seems pretty proud of its "Bagels, Burgers 'n Beer" Harvard Square location, but, sadly, there is a hole in their plan: the new locale is decidedly more Bruegger's than Grafton.

--A.A. Carrasquillo