EDITORIAL NOTEBOOK: Shopping for Coeur Classes

The thrill of shopping period is in the air. Shoes skip along the paths of the Yard with a slightly more joyful sound than when students trudged to exams through the snow just a week and half ago.

But all these feet aren't running to the 18th Core class of the day just to pick up the syllabus--these feet are trying to find each other. That's right, shopping period is the time of the year when everyone is looking for a lover.

Spring may be a while off yet, but don't tell that to Harvard students. Now that we've come back from our exotic intersession destinations, tanned or sporting chic new Parisian outfits, we're ready to hit the dating scene. Without homework or exams to interfere with our morning dressing routine, we actually have time to put on a little make-up or experiment with our 'do. Add this to the fact that we're actually well-rested and awake before noon, and you have a recipe for love potion course catalogue number 4971.

Wily shoppers realize that in the hustle and bustle of trying to get your hands on the last elusive syllabus you can't help but bump into a few lookers. In large classes you can see these students busily scanning, not the reading list, but the crowd, hoping to spot that cute guy or gal they never had time to search out after section last semester.

Or maybe they're looking for a new face, one who also would be interested in, say, Literature and Arts B-55: "The Swing Era." There are dancing lessons in that class, right? Who knows which hottie you could hook up with for a little one-on-one study session?

All the cool outfits and freshly shaved faces seem to be saying one thing: "I'm not that kid who came to class in glasses and their pajamas all last semester, I'm attractive goshdarnit!" This is no mere New Year's resolution, it's a complex game theory in which costs and balances have been calculated more carefully than the hours-per-class ratio or reading-to-exam-work-expenditure quotient.

These sharks of shopping period aren't just idle dressers ingrained by parents who always made them look nice for the first day of class. Walking through the Yard yesterday you would have seen a few optimistic women braving the freezing winds in their short skirts. This sort of dedication is driven by more than filial piety; it is a finely-honed dating strategy, one that begins with the first 9 a.m. class on Wednesday morning.

Thinking like a Harvard student now (as if you had any other choice), it won't be another month until midterms start to hit. If you start now (or yesterday), you could be in a solid, supportive relationship by the time you abandon all pretenses of blow-drying (or showering) each morning. Such a relationship provides comfort and relaxation during the stressful times only a few short months away.

Late-night backrubs, flowers after you've completed a killer test and a warm hand to hold on the long cold walk to Tommy's are the things that Harvard students dream about. How many times during the last exam period did you wish that you had someone besides your equally deranged roommates to cry to? All this could be yours, but only if you act fast. Get into those Core classes today, tomorrow and every day until add/drop deadline.

The longer you stick around in Sanders Theatre or Lowell Lecture Hall--two prime pick-up locations--the bigger your chances of dating success. Use lines like, "Hey, didn't I see you shopping Fairy Tales last year? I'd love to be your white knight." Or make small talk while waiting outside an overcrowded classroom: "Hey, doesn't it suck waiting out here where we can't even hear the professor read the syllabus to us? Let's go get coffee and read it to each other."

If none of these pick-up lines work, try some old fashioned body language--catch someone's eye, hold it for a moment, smile and see what happens. If all else fails, simply say, "Hey, I didn't get a copy of the syllabus, could you e-mail me the first reading assignment? I really don't want to get behind." At the very least you've established a connection between you and the object of your affection and an e-mail conversation that you can agonize over for hours as you try to craft the perfect thank you. But don't agonize for too long--time is fleeting and shopping period will be over only too soon.

Given the strict time frame, it's no wonder that all these students have taken to heart the maxim about first impressions--you only get one chance. Well, until next semester and next shopping period, in any case.