Whole Nine Yards? Not Enough For First Down

FILM

The Whole Nine Yards

Directed by Jonathan Lynn

Starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry

Warner Bros. Films

The Whole Nine Yards

Directed by Jonathan Lynn

Starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry

Warner Bros. Films

Whole Nine Yards? Not Enough For First Down

By JIMMY ZHA

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Walking into a movie starring a member of the "Friends" cast is always interesting. I normally expect total ineptness and a hackneyed script trying to play upon the comedic strengths of the cast member while never truly moving away from the feeling of a half-hour sitcom. While The Whole Nine Yards does many things well, it suffers from the same airiness.

Starring Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry, the film tells the story of what happens when your unassuming dentist Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky (Perry) finds that his new next-door neighbor is former notorious hitman Jimmy the Tulip (Willis). What ensues is a madcap plot involving the fact that Jimmy, his former boss Janni Gogolak (Kevin Pollack) and his estranged wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) have ten million dollars tied up in an account only all three can sign for; of course, if anyone dies among the three, only the remaining signatures are needed. Jimmy on the other hand is an unwilling captive to these larger affairs, especially more so when he is used as a pawn by Gogolak and hitman Frankie Figs (Michael Clarke Duncan) and subsequently falls in love with Cynthia. Throw in bouncy and naked Amanda Peet from the WB's "Jack and Jill" and Rosanna Arquette as Perry's homocidal and snivling wife and you get a complicated plot fraught with misunderstandings and double-dealing.

While seemingly complicated, what astounds is how a movie which initially has potential for so much comedic depth ends up being only as deep and enjoyable as your run-of-the-mill Hugh Grant flick. Perry plays the nervous neighbor to perfection, but too often resorts to the antics of Chandler Bing on "Friends," and he is unwholly suited for the heroic turn he makes later in the movie. Bruce Willis plays the glamorous hitman a little too glamorously, and his comedic style appears to be to speak as little as possible while still looking glib and threatening. Having appeared in the more serious The Green Mile, Michael Clarke Duncan plays the more convincing hitman, probably from having been a bouncer in real life. On the other hand, the women are a real joy in the movie. While not exactly plumbing emotional depths, Natasha Henstridge moves past her Species movies by giving a classic femme fatale treatment of Cynthia (although the viewer is left to wonder why the seduced ends up being Matthew Perry). Amanda Peet too leaves some dubious other film appearances and fills the movie with much needed younger vitality (although the viewer is left too to wonder why the seduced ends up being the much older Bruce Willis). Finally, Rosanna Arquette is masterful in her portrayal of an evil, French-Canadian wife.

However, if those roles seem to promise very little in character development, even for a comedy, then those appearances are correct. The dialogue is enjoyable, but remains light and airy, even when referring to murder. And the movie hinges almost wholly on funny plot twists; unfortunately, relying on the plot does not make for a movie experience I would want to enjoy again and again. Instead, The Whole Nine Yards does promise an funny and ultimately enjoyable experience for one night that while still more air than substance, still speaks for more than most comedies out today. So as the two anxious press groupies told me at the screening, at most three or four stars, yet in conclusion, a worthwhile three and a half star experience. B