Fifteen Minutes: Sit on it, Mr. C

On the way to Louieis Superette, a large sign on the fifth floor of Leverett Towers exclaims, iTHE FOZ.i Who is this mysterious Foz? A person? A superhero? A new member of the Wu-Tang clan?

Answer: The Foz is the man. Sort of. The Foz is Michael E. Fosnaugh e01, an junior concentrating in ec from Fort Wayne, Indiana. He sports A&F and a crew cut, and lives in a stereotypically unkempt, unvacuumed and generally dirty pad. Yes, he acquired the name iThe Fozi through some kind of sports activity-freshman preseason football camp. Yes, he is looking for an iattractive girl...whois funny and can have a good time.i Even his weekends tend to fall on the terribly ordinary side: according to The Foz, iI hang out in my room with my roommates, drink some beers, go to The Grille.i

The Fozis one exciting quality: obscene quantities of iBeast,i or to everyone not living in Leverett G-53, Milwaukeeis Best beer. Milwaukeeis Best Ice, to be exact. According to his roommates, whom he calls ihis associates,i the Foz carried six thirty-packs of iBeasti from the convenience store all the way back to their room. The anecdote causes his roommate Chris B. Bala e01 to exclaim iHeis a single happenini dude. But heis still all business. Heis alllll bidness [sic].i

Exactly how ihappeninii is the Foz? Besides being a member of the Owl, the Foz is also somewhat of a player. When FM confronted him about whether or not he had ever hooked up with a girl who only knew him as iThe Foz,i he skirts the issue: iI canit recall, but I was probably pretty drunk.i And if the intention of calling oneself iThe Fozi is to attract the attention of women, this man knows his stuff. iOne day at the dining hall,i The Foz explains, ione of my roommates called me Foz, and two girls came up and said eoh, youire the Foz. We were wondering who the Foz was.ii

The Foz and his rooommates have grander plans than an ambiguous sign. A line of clothing called iFoz-weari is in the works, among other things. According to John R. Kraay e01, one of the roommates, iWeire looking to expand the ebillboard,i to produce some t-shirts, all oriented around the Foz.i Whatever the future holds for this ordinary Midwestern boy, one thingis for sure: wherever The Foz is, the Beast will follow.

oK. S. WEAVER