The Best of the Harvard University Police Log 2000

The men and women of the Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) protect Harvard's campus from wrong-doers, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

In the course of their duties, they deal with everything from armed robberies and shootings to medical transports and intoxicated students.

As the year 2000 draws to a close, The Crimson hopes to offer a compendium of some of the most inane and oddest calls HUPD has received and responded to this year.

While these calls were received over the course of the year, they will be presented, in tribute to James Joyce and Ulysses, over the course of a single day:

12:19 a.m.--HUPD checked on someone sleeping in the basement of Lowell House. Officers determined that although at one point the individual had been a guest of a House resident, the guest was no longer wanted. He was sent on his way with a trespass warning. (9/26)

12:38 a.m.--HUPD and Cambridge rescue units respond to an out-of-control "Duck, Duck, Goose" game in Winthrop House. One student was knocked unconscious. (12/12)

1:29 a.m.--HUPD units checked to make sure the night staff at University Health Services (UHS) was all right, after no one there answered the phone. (2/3)

1:49 a.m.--A HUPD officer was dispatched to the Harvard Herbarium to investigate a van full of live rats. When the officer arrived on the scene, the suspicious van was gone.

2:21 a.m.--Multiple callers reported a man screaming in the Leverett Tower courtyard. When an officer interviewed the man, he replied that he was screaming because he had had a "bad day." (10/23)

2:51 a.m.--A caller reported that he had seen two students enter Mower Hall with a sign taken from a Harvard Square store. The Harvard University Police Department (HUPD) located the sign in a dorm room. The room's residents said that they had found the sign and had taken it for safekeeping. (10/25)

4:17 a.m.--HUPD checked on the wellbeing of someone lying on the lawn outside Wolbach Hall. An officer awakened the student and sent him home. (10/14)

7:26 a.m.--A caller reported that a flag had been stolen off the Widener Library crane. (10/21)

11:55 a.m.--A fire was reported at the "funny building across from Adams House." HUPD and fire units could not locate the fire in the Lampoon building; eventually they determined it was steam venting. They could not locate any humor in the building either. (3/1)

2:32 p.m.--A caller reported a burning chair in Adams House. An officer determined the chair was a play prop and had just been made to appear as if it was burning. (10/29)

3:26 p.m.--Police transported a resident of Cabot House to University Health Services for treatment of a large splinter in her buttocks. (4/8)

4:04 p.m.--Officers dispatched to remove a squirrel from Lowell Lecture Hall. The squirrel was located and removed. (10/29)

5:31 p.m.--A caller from Au Bon Pain reported an anteater chasing pedestrians. HUPD units who responded determined that the anteater was, in fact, a small dog. The dog's owner left with the animal. (10/3)

7:43 p.m.--An elderly person was reported loitering around Currier House. Police investigated and determined the man was waiting for laundry. (2/21)

9:40 p.m.--A fire alarm interrupted a concert in Paine Hall. CFD responded on foot from their headquarters near Memorial Hall. The Radcliffe Pitches continued the concert outside. (11/3)

11 p.m.--HUPD officers responded to a noise complaint in the Carpenter Center at 11 p.m. An individual agreed to stop carving a totem pole with a chainsaw. (5/7)