Tenacious D: Hurricanes Nostalgia

I laughed when I heard it was wide right.

No, I'm not referring to our infamous last-second field goal attempt against Cornell this past weekend. I'm talking about the last-second field goal attempt in the game I should have been watching instead--the upset of the Florida State Seminoles by my Miami Hurricanes.

Some of you may be wondering why this game is important enough to warrant its own column. After all, there are many upsets in college football on a weekly basis. You may think that Miami's win over Florida State is not important.

Well, you're wrong. And when was the last time you read an objective column anyway?

This win was huge.

This win was historic.

This win was my childhood all over again.

I'm sensing confusion, so let me explain and give some background for all of you non-'Canes fans.

Growing up in Florida, the only sport is football. We don't have any traditions, so baseball is out of the question. We have no ice, so hockey is out of the question. And we think lacrosse is some card game resembling canasta that the old people play to pass the time.

As a boy in Miami, I would always play backyard football with my friends and the neighborhood kids. The quarterback we imitated most was always a toss-up between Dan Marino and Gino Torretta (you know, the 1992 Heisman Trophy winner from the University of Miami and perhaps one of the best collegiate quarterbacks of the past decade).

Back in the day, UM was unstoppable. In the 1980s, under Jimmy Johnson (yes, that Jimmy Johnson), the 'Canes won two national championships and had an unbelievable 35-game regular season winning streak. Then, Dennis Erickson took over the helm and led UM to the title in 1989 and 1991. The Hurricanes dynasty of the 80's was shaping up to continue well into the 90's.

But then disaster struck. In 1995, the NCAA found Miami guilty of recruiting violations and suspended 31 of the school's athletic scholarships. Unlike Ivy League football, large Div. I-A programs live or die by their ability to recruit with scholarships--and Miami effectively died.

To understate things, the mid-to-late 90's was a dark time for 'Canes fans. Gone was the glory of always being in the hunt for the national championship. Gone was the thrill of rooting for a team you grew up watching and admiring. And, worst of all, Miami started losing to FSU.

The depth of the depression came in 1997, when Miami lost to the hated Seminoles by an embarrassing 47-0 score in Tallahassee. Tallahassee, by the way, is like New Haven, but worse.

Perhaps many of you don't understand how much losing to FSU pains the soul. If I can draw an analogy to local baseball, Boston's "Yankees Suck" is our "FSU Sucks." And yes, we also make bumper stickers and shirts to advertise the truth.

Now all of the frustration of losing to FSU for five straight years is now gone. Thanks to Saturday's win, the Hurricanes are now considered possible contenders for the national championship and have yet again humiliated the Seminoles like they used to do in the old days. And I just had to laugh when I found out how the 'Canes did it.

With a little under two minutes left to play in Saturday's game, No. 8 Miami was trailing No. 1 FSU, 24-20. UM quarterback Ken Dorsey calmly marched his team from its own 32-yard line down the length of the field ala Gino Torretta. Dorsey capped the drive with a 13-yard TD pass to tight end Jeremy Shockey with 46 seconds left.

FSU quarterback Chris Weinke (who, by the way, is almost thirty and should not be playing college football) responded by taking his team down to the Miami 32, setting up a potentially game-tying field goal attempt.

The unenviable task fell to Seminole placekicker Matt Munyon. From 49 yards out, Munyon had the leg to make it. Despite making good contact, the ball flew end-over-end wide right.

Game over.

Miami had again beaten FSU on a last-second field goal that missed wide right.

It would be mere coincidence if this had happened only once before. But this is the third time in ten meetings that a mediocre FSU kicker let the team own in the big Miami game. I've humbly concluded that FSU is just destined by some higher power to be inferior to Miami in the long run.

In 1991, en route to winning the national championship, Miami escaped with a 17-16 win after backup kicker Gerry Thomas shanked it wide right.

The very next year, the aforementioned Torretta engineered the go-ahead drive in the final minutes and watched as poor Dan Mowry took his place in the history books as the author of "Wide Right II." Miami won the game by the score of 19-16 and effectively denied FSU a shot at the national title.

And now, UM fans have "Wide Right III" to add to the list of memories in this great rivalry. I only wish I had been able to see it for myself like the other two installment.

So, what does the future hold for Miami? Well, they might not win the championship this year because they have yet to play a tough Virginia Tech team and already have a loss to Washington. However, Miami's No. 4 ranking is the highest rank it has had in quite a while. That bodes well for the team after so many years of falling from grace.

And sometime in the perhaps not-too-distant future, when an FSU kicker adds his name to the list of "Wide Right" alums, just know that I'll be somewhere laughing to myself and reliving a simple joy of childhood: Beating the damn Seminoles.