How To: Give a Massage

Step 1. gather your materials.

When selecting the proper utensils and oils, it is important to keep in mind both massagee and the massager.

For example, a rose-scented concoction might be best for massaging an "A" out of your chem TF, whereas a healthy tablespoon of Crisco might be inappropriate for coaxing that last portion of garlic bread out of the dining hall staff. Novices should stick with basic wooden implements such as "Mr. Happy." Any massage accessory requiring electricity is likely to make the massage both noisy and uncomfortable.

Step 2. the basics.

The basics. The 10-fingered knead is the basis of all massages. Let the thumbs do the work here, using weaker fingers for leverage. Probe gently until you find a "groove" within the muscle, then dig in. Be sure to communicate with your partner at all times to satisfy both your needs.

Step 3. The big guns.

For deep-tissue relaxation, only the knuckles will do. Make a fist, keeping your thumb on the outside and raising the knuckles of your middle and index fingers slightly. Use a gentle rocking motion for best results. Tenser muscles might require "double-fisting" with the elbows and knees.

Step 4. Karate.

No rubdown is finished without a body-giggling round of karate chops. Flatten the hands and vigorously pound with the pinky side. Chopping is fair game from the neck all the way down to the tush. Tip: Get the massagee to speak and listen to the fragmented tones. Avoid bodily trauma by striking lightly.