greased lightning

What's the difference between pasty white and golden brown? Suntan lotion What's the only substance on earth that can be "slathered" in public? Suntan lotion. And What Should be you number one Item on the packing last for Bora Bora? Suntan Lotion. Nothing says "day at the beach" like a pair of greasy hands and the overpowering scent of coconut. And that's just on the fat guy who wants you to "do his back." But for those of us allergic to skin cancer, perhaps sunscreen is a better choice. Like Mom always used to say--back when Mom was an ad exec for Coppertone--"Block the Sun, Not The Fun."

Here, FM's picks for Spring Break Sunblocks:

Coppertone Sport Ultra Sweat-proof Dry Lotion

Ditch the CVS brand--your skin deserves the very best. Waterproof and hypoallergenic, this elixir boasts a "pleasant fragrance" and comes in four different SPFs. Never drop your Corona again with their new non-greasy formula.

Banana Boat Quit Blok

Vitamin E-enriched and aloe vera-enhanced, this sunblock in a spray bottle marks the largest technological advance in the industry since the invention of artificial banana scent.

Hawaiian Tropic Protic-tion Plus

Fierce competition from the "Big Two" has prompted Hawaiian Tropic to "introduce a new fresh look with elegant, easy-grip packages." Guaranteed to turn heads beach.