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POISE
Clear your mind of all other thoughts. Approach the keg with confidence.
PRECISION
Grasping both handles of the keg, lock your wrists perfectly straight. You may want to put chalk on your hands for extra grip. Kick your legs up over your head, using a spotter or spotters if necessary.
PRESSURE
Open the tap and place it in your mouth. DO NOT simply let the tap fill your mouth and then try to swallow it all in one shot. YOU must dominate the keg, not the other way around. Suck the liquid down as quickly as possible. Any hesitation and you are lost. You can improve your time at home by gargling with Listerine while doing a handstand.
PUKING
After about 30-40 seconds, you should be experiencing a "brownout". This is a period of semi-consciousness in which you are not completely aware of what you are doing. Many describe feeling "unstoppable", as if they are chugging in slow-motion. This is the point at which you should dismount.
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