GET THE RING

You've already framed your college acceptance letter, researched the laminating options for your diploma and garnished mummy's windshield with H&R decals. But for true portability and maximum display value, the class ring is the quintessential trophy. After all, "life is good, wrap it around your finger and take it everywhere you go!"--or so claims the ArtCarved jewelry company, purveyor of quality class rings.

With more choices than the Core curriculum, ArtCarved's catalog offers much more freedom than the average Harvard student can handle. Those who've never quite evolved a personality can now redefine themselves in cubic zirconia. Are you simulated or semiprecious? Seawind or Windswept? Illusion or Allure? Traditional or contemporary original?

And don't forget those engraved "curriculum panels" that can flank either side of the stone: "from accounting to zoology, we've got you've covered." Fave picks: turf management and mortuary science.

Unfortunately, logistical problems of casting long names like "University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill" in metal make most rings resemble brass knuckles--only less elegant and sans the functionality. What these objets d'art lack in subtlety, they make up for in garish hideousness. For those who don't want to lug half their body weight on a single finger, FM's Style Police have rustled up these choice alternatives:

THE FM RING

Sleek and understated, FM's ideal ring boasts no fewer than 46 simulated diamonds--17 for the "F" and 29 for the "M". With your graduation year on one side and "also a Crimson editor" on the other, this bauble serves as the ultimate accessory for your 15 minutes of fame.

THE CLASS TATOO

Hard-core Harvard aficionados will display true alma mater chauvinism with a more permanent memento. After all, life is good; stain your flesh crimson and wear it everywhere you go! Choose to indulge in a discreet "veritas" just above the ankle or, for those who epitomize risque, a full-torso enhancement. Whatever. Just remember: location, location, location.

THE CLASS BRAND

What could symbolize the relationship between administration and students better than an old-fashioned cattle brand? Not many choices here: Archie's "Lazy E" and Harry's "Rocking L" round out the possibilities. Minimizes the risk of stampede when filing out of an Ec10 lecture.

Speaking of cattle, it's pre-frosh season. Fold out those futons and bone up on the history of the Science Center; they're back. Judging by the anal-retentiveness of this year's potential admits (e.g. one high schooly Thayer guest allegedly broke out the custom-made business cards as an icebreaker), the class of '03 will likely cause a mad rush for ArtCarved's "Epic" line.