Speedy Delivery

Don't despair. Valentine solutions are only a phone call away. Cute and thoughtful gifts can be delivered without much hassle. Delivery isn't just for pizza anymore, but still pizza remains a good place to start in the search for Valentine ideas. Tommy's, that late-night mainstay, will bake heart-shaped pizzas on request. With a delivery time of 45 minutes or less, this cheap yet tasty option is a clever last-minute idea. What better way to say "I love you" than with pepperoni?

While heart-shaped pizza may be cute, nothing beats a chickengram. Call Broadway Babies, a Boston company that specializes in singing telegrams, stripteases and belly dancers. Gorillagrams come standard with a guy in a gorilla suit who not only sings and dances but bears balloons, candy and champagne. The classic chickengram is another option. Broadway Babies’ animal line generally runs $105-130. Also available: singing celebrity impersonators. Choose between Marilyn Monroe, Elvis and Pavarotti. These high-end telegrams cost about $200, plus tip. All this assumes, of course, that the gorilla guy can make his housecall sans keycard.

Of course, a just-plain-funny gift can win hearts as well. Call Boston's Sweet-n-Nasty erotic bakery and send over some salacious treats. Their Valentine's selection ranges from harmless heart-shaped cakes and chocolate roses to heart boxes filled with porno chocolates. But be careful, a box of edible breasts and penises does not have universal appeal. When in doubt, just stick with Tommy's.

Tommy's House of Pizza 497-4849

Stash Tea Company (800) 826-4218

Broadway Babies (781) 396-0550

Sweet-n-Nasty 266-7171