Regis Does IPO

After August's stunning Nielsen success, ABC's quiz show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" is back for another two weeks. Starting last Sunday, viewers could once again watch contestants sweat over deceptively simple multiple-choice questions. Hosted by the ever-suave Regis Philbin, the show has yet to produce a grand prize winner.

But here at Harvard, students are playing their own version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." It's the Internet Startup Game, and chances are you or someone you know has already been a contestant.

Some students have taken their meager earnings and walked away (www.datesite.com), some never really made it past the first round (www.collegebeans.com), and some are still playing (www.crimson-solutions.com). And unlike the television counterpart, this show has seen big winners (www.microsoft.com). No telephone call necessary. All you need is a $75 and a domain name.

Still don't know if you want to play? Take the simple quiz below and judge for yourself. If you get stuck, feel free to call a friend or use the fifty-fifty option at the bottom of this column. But be warned, there are no lifelines. If you fall, you fall all the way to ground negative-costs-minus-revenue.

***

QUESTION 1: Congratulations! You've started an Internet startup. Which of the following markets will you tap into first? A) Urban yuppies in their mid-20s; B) Computer-savvy professionals in their mid-30s; C) Corporate board members in their mid-40s; D) Harvard kids.

QUESTION 2: A company is only as good as the people who run it. Among which pool will you find the most competent people to staff your new company? A) Recent graduates from the Harvard Business School; B) Former associates at Boston Consulting Group; C) EC-10 Teaching Fellows; D) Your blockmates.

QUESTION 3: The fate of any Internet startup is largely determined by its Web site. In what aspect of Web site development should you allocate most of the company's resources? A) Developing a user-friendly design; B) Creating innovative back-end code; C) Integrating corporate data with outside sources; D) Figuring out how to morally justify your decision to redirect traffic from porn sites.

QUESTION 4: Your corporate Web site is not only a way to reach out to potential clients, but can also generate revenue through advertising. How can you increase hits to your Web site so that you maximize on-line ad profits? A) Use regular updates to force clients to return to your page; B) Pique public interest through carefully leaked reports to The Crimson; C) Give away free T-shirts at the CityStep Ball; D) Tell your employees to turn off cookies and hit reload like there's no tomorrow.

QUESTION 5: Before hitting the big time, your company must first overcome what obstacle to growth of epic proportions? A) The Sherman Anti-Trust Act; B) Barriers to entry set up by your roommate's competing firm; C) The Ad Board; D) All of the above.

QUESTION 6: You've almost hit the big time! But internal dissension is tearing your company apart. Specifically, your employees are sick of working for free. How do keep morale up without actually paying wages? A) Promise to distribute even more non-existent stock options; B) Give them all a business cards and a "Chief (blank) Officer" title; C) Beer; D) Screw it. Dump those deadweights and poster the campus, advertising your new "comp."

QUESTION 7: You are at a dinner meeting with some interested investors. As the meeting wraps up, you are asked exactly when you expect your firm to begin earning a profit. You respond by: A) Providing a concise cost-revenue analysis that avoids giving a specific answer; B) Pretending to choke on a piece of chicken bone; C) Pointing out that the profit motive is an ephemeral capitalist notion that will eventually give way to the triumph of modern socialism; D) Changing the subject to the number of clients that will be redirected to your Web page from porn sites.

QUESTION 8: These days, no one is in it for the long haul. A smart, enterprising, Harvard-educated Internet startup founder like yourself has a bright future. What is your exit strategy? A) Corporate buy-out. Earn a six-figure salary as CEO, hire a manager, dump your equity and spend the rest of your days playing Microsoft Golf 2000; B) IPO. Drum up hype, watch your stock price sky rocket, dump your equity and move to Vegas; C) Consolidate ownership. Convince your partners that the company is on the fast track to success, confess you are not the most qualified leader, sell your equity (for a reasonable price that includes "future earnings"), and go to law school; D) Wake up. Realize your chances of hitting the big time are probably slim to none, dump your equity, resume attending class, and (hopefully) graduate.

The fifty/fifty option will leave either A or D, B or D, or C or D as possible answers.

Richard S. Lee '01, a former contestant, is a social studies concentrator in Pforzheimer House. His column appears on alternate Wednesdays.