the truth about HOOKING UP

In the beginning, it was simple--either they kissed, or they didn't--there were no other questions to be asked. Later, as curiosity got the better of modesty, the infamous base system developed, but oddly enough it was never put into use--people would only hear about others who had "hit a double," or how a friend "got to third" with this girl at camp whose existence was questionable, at best. Somewhere along the line, an ambiguity crept into the discussion of sexual relations. Left by the wayside was the clearly defined "baseball" system; quietly and quickly replacing it were a few, and then more and more (see sidebar), terms that divulged some action while remaining remarkably vague. As students moved through high school and on to college, new terms of choice came and went, varying by region and clique. Yet, the indecisive spirit remained, denying any prying listeners insight beyond the initial, well, "hook up."

At Harvard, the preferred expression of sexual activity does seem to be "to hook up with." Why? "The attractiveness is in the ambiguity," admits Mark A. Begnaud '01. Most tend to agree: be it from embrassment, inhibition or a sense of privacy, students generally appreciate and embrace the uncertainty rather than consider it a problem. Rob F. Bittencourt '01 concurs, saying "it's convenient--you know you don't want to get into details. It's like kissing and telling, but it's really not." Although none are sure if the term is preferred nationwide, Jean C. Park '00 says about Harvard, "a lot of people here are very conservative--if you use ambiguous terms, it's like Choose Your Own Adventure TM." Attempting to once and for all clarify the term, Angelos M. Kottas '99 explains that "it could be anything from...whatever...to whatever..."

Apparently, freedom from the responsibility to divulge actual actions is widely appreciated. Some even count on the vagueness. Ken G. Haig '99 admits that because of the ambiguity, "people give you the benefit of the doubt." Jack P. Donahue '01 agrees, confiding it's "to protect pride, because then people can assume you did more than you did." However, most see the ambiguity as either a way to protect privacy or as a concession to politeness. "Especially girls don't want to say, 'yeah, I fucked this guy last night' or 'yeah, I went down on this guy,'" insists Begnaud, adding "and no one really wants to hear it." Camilla MacClain '01 also sees it as a secrecy issue, saying "it's no one else's business, but they want to make it theirs, so you're giving them enough to satisfy, while keeping your privacy." Alex B. Beale '01 agrees that the vague terms are "a less obnoxious way of conveying meaning without getting too graphic."

While the "hook-up" is a common means of expression, it's not the only indefinable term out there. In a survey conducted to determine Harvard's sentiments on the issue, the connotations of "hook up" and "make out" were the least certain. Students disagreed on which implied a more intimate encounter. Jessie R. Elzinga '01 considers making out further along the road of "getting it on," and hooking up "not so sexual...more about a relationship than physical activity." Larissa T. Jester '99 adds that "in the old days, making out meant something different--it was much more scandalous." Andrew Perito '01 agrees, pointing out that "making out is definitely not only kissing, while hooking up could be just that."

Yet as the survey displayed, opinions lean towards the "hook-up" as a more serious run-in. A belligerent P. Randy Seybold '01 demands that "making out means kissing. Period." Jimmy J. Meeks '01 enforces the more sexual meaning of "to hook up," saying that "hooking up definitely implies a horizontal position." And in addition to the general perception of "making out" as a lesser act, there is a certain stigma connecting the expression to the late 1950s and drive-ins, or as Sam T. Mouton '01 angrily declares, "Making out is so Junior High." Allison C. Connolly '01 agrees that "it's very seventh grade--it was big time in seventh grade, like second base."

Yet this comment, while cutting to those who still subscribe to the expression, strikes a nostalgic chord, harkening back to a time when kids could say "second base" and they all knew what that meant. Of all the students asked, B.J. Novak '01 was the only one to offer a solution: "Why don't we bring back the baseball system?" Sure, it was big in Junior High, and sure, college students are supposedly more mature, but wouldn't it be nice if inquiring minds could ask what happened last night and actually know? Yet, while ideal, this plan will undoubtedly never ever take hold. The ambiguity has become ingrained in American minds and society ("Mr. President, was there a relationship?" "There is no relationship." "Yeah, but was there a relationship?" "There is no relationship"). So, despite the obvious inadequacies of the vague terms, those students fortunate enough to be "hooking up" will have to be content to call it...what-ever they want.

MORE THAN MACKING!

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