Getting the Down-Low at the Info Office

Cutting through Holyoke Center to get from Mass. Ave to Mount Auburn Street, the average Harvard student might not notice Harvard's newest attempt at public relations. But the revamped Harvard Information Center is more than a tiny booth with maps and brochures. It is an interactive trip into Harvard that, like the University itself, may sweat the details a little too much.

The information overload resulting from a visit to the center is enough to intimidate the most optimistic high school student or delight the most over-achieving parent. There's nothing like a display of how intimately Harvard has been connected to the most minute and unimportant events in American history to make a hopeful parent beam and a stressed-out kid cringe. The info center has a timeline displayed on computer that goes into the details of all of Harvard's history, more than even the Crimson Key Society could handle. There is such a thing as too much Harvard trivia.

So how could anyone get too much Harvard? The sickening process begins even before entering the center. The storefront boasts a new map that lights up any location on campus (even the Quad) at the push of a button. But more fascinating is the interactive computer display that operates even after closing time. The unwary passer-by is first greeted with a bouncing image of that Harvard staple, the Eliot House bell tower. The visitor is then presented with a list of possible subjects to explore, ranging from the potentially interesting "Adventure" and "Famous Faces at Harvard" categories to the standard "Athletics" and "Museums and Libraries." The final category, though, provokes the balling of fists and the grinding of teeth. It is "Titanic."

Apparently, the University has been fit to tie itself to Titanic-mania lest it miss out on any extra publicity that might be gleaned from advertising the fact that Harvard people drowned too. Clicking on the "Titanic" category reveals surprisingly little information, but they sink to such depths at to capitalize that revoltingly standard image of Jack clutching Rose and staring into the distance. The exhibit reveals not only the commonly known Widener-Titanic connection, but also the lesser known Straus-Titanic link.

Anyone who's ever been on a tour of the campus knows the Widener story. The intrepid, but not-too-bright Harvard grad who went back into the ship as it was sinking to rescue a rare manuscript. But very few ever learn the Straus tragedy. And of those who do, fewer remember this random piece of school trivia. Apparently Mrs. Straus had a spot on one of the life boats, but refused to leave her husband. She stayed and they both drowned together as Titanic sank. In their memory, the Straus' children donated Straus Hall. Proof that while Harvard people may be very dedicated, they often forget to have a life.

It's easy to finally enter the Info Center feeling no wiser and certainly no prouder of this University as a result of the interactive tour. The interior doesn't help. Decked out in red-brick and Harvard chairs, the center boasts a cubicle fondly described as a "reading room," a projection screen and computer kiosk of sorts. The reading room material is mostly about the history of Harvard and its sidekick, Radcliffe the Girl Wonder. The movies boast such gripping titles as "Harvard: A Video Portrait" and "Harvard: An International Community."

(Coming soon, "Harvard: A University in Cambridge" and "Harvard: Please Take Note of Our New Trademark Policy, Thank You.")

The two computer terminals require a little coaxing as both are strongly determined to replay the interactive experience of the outside terminal. But there is more information to be found, even rare glimpses into Harvard life. For example, a video documents the acting career of "3rd Rock" star John Lithgow during his time at Harvard. And images of Mother Theresa's address here in 1982. Of course, with our $11 billion endowment, the university could obviously not afford to make these presentations real multimedia features, thus effectively denying visitors the pleasure of hearing sounds to go with the paltry images.

The shop counter has everything from summer school brochures to shuttle schedules. Musa Goldberg, originally from Russia, has worked at the info center for eight and a half years. She explains, "We sell maps [$1], selfguides [$4.95], Harvard calendars [$12], and Harvard postcards [$.50]."

So who comes buying? Goldberg estimates that people from "70 percent of countries" come for the tours run by the center. She recalls some of the more unusual tours that she gave in her native Russian. "I gave tours to Russian generals and people in the Duma [Russian legislative body]," she says. "They appreciate it when you speak their language."

What do people in the real world wonder about Harvard? Goldberg comments that most people" ask about the structure and history of the university." She continues, "They think their daughter or son will be a student here." A little optimistic, perhaps?

But Goldberg doesn't think that the most important job of the resource center is whipping parents into a frenzy over their child's academic future. On the contrary, she says that the center is a "very important source of information for the extension school. This is where many people first hear about it."

So the info center isn't for students. And while it makes Harvard appear slightly more user-friendly, it's still pretty damn pretentious.