National Bonehead Association

At first, this column was going to be about Shaquille O'Neal and his ludicrous ranting last Monday after the Los Angeles Lakers lost to Washington, 96-86.

But yesterday came the arbitrator's ruling that the Golden State Warriors have to reinstate Latrell Sprewell's contract and that the NBA has to reduce his suspension to seven months. He had been punished for allegedly attacking Coach P.J. Carlesimo at practice, returning 20 minutes later, and resuming the assault.

I was delighted when I heard this news, because I realized that it sent exactly the right message to kids who follow basketball.

See, there's this common misperception that it's not OK to lose your temper and attempt to attack someone physically, especially an authority figure. I've got as bad a temper as anyone else, so I'm pretty happy with that. Your TF screws you? Go to office hours and beat the hell out of him. It's all right after today's decision.

But let's say that you're not the impulsive type. Say you're the type to leave, stew, and come back 20 minutes later to choke and punch somebody. Hey, this arbitrator isn't unreasonable--that's OK, too!

This is an absolute travesty. I can't even describe how frustrated I was when I heard the news. It's irrational, unjustifiable and harmful for basketball.

John Feerick, the arbitrator, wrote: "The evidence indicates that there is no history of both the league and a team imposing discipline for the same violent conduct, on or off the court. This speaks to the issue of fairness, as I see it."

To quote David Spade in Tommy Boy, "Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?"

Does precedent matter? Is it wrong for both a team and the league to punish somebody who does something so flagrantly wrong? Unfortunately, the collective bargaining agreement implies that it is.

But nobody can ever convince me that it's unfair to suspend someone a full year for choking his coach. And as for the Warriors' actions, would any other company hesitate to terminate someone who tried to choke his boss?

I feel sorry for the NBA, because it did the right thing and lost. People who think of basketball players as overpaid and spoiled can point to this case, and they're absolutely right. Not only would no ordinary person get away with this, he'd probably end up serving hard time.

The players' union's reaction is equally ridiculous. "This decision is a victory that is shared by Latrell and the other 400 members of our union. It reaffirms the sanctity of guaranteed contracts in the NBA," said union president Billy Hunter.

This isn't a victory. It's a defeat. A defeat for the NBA, which tried to discipline a rogue player with a well-deserved reputation for being a punk. A defeat for the Warriors, who will have to pay the aforementioned punk the rest of his $32 million contract. A defeat for Sprewell, who is less likely to change his self-destructive behavior now. And a defeat for decency.

More ominously, an Oakland high-school player was recently cited for attacking his coach after being benched. The case is undecided, and the player claims the coach started it, so we shouldn't rush to judgment. But I have a hard time believing that there's no connection between the two attacks.

Let's move on to Shaquille O'Neal, who lashed out after the loss to the Wizards, berating his teammates and the refs, then challenging the league to fine him.

Grow up.

For someone trying to shed his man-child image, Shaq sure hasn't done a lot to help himself. Both on and off the court, his questionable work ethic and heart are the reasons why I can't respect him as a player.

We've all heard him be called Shaq-Diesel, Shaq-Daddy, and Shaq-Fu. Now we can add Shaq-Fool.

He cracked back on Lakers Rick Fox and Eddie Jones, who kept jacking up threes but ended just 4-for-12 from behind the arc against the Wizards: "We've got a lot of Rex Chapman wannabes on this team. Those off-balance, one-legged, fadeaway threes won't get it done in this league."

There's nothing wrong with scolding your teammates. But you do it in private, behind closed doors. You don't use the media or go public with your problems. Sure, they shouldn't have been throwing up bad shots. But let's look at Shaq's free-throw percentage for the season. It's a robust 49.6 percent. In the loss in question, he went just 4-of-9.

He turned his wrath towards the officials next, saying: "No, I don't get no calls [at home], either. It don't matter. I might have to break somebody's facial structure to get a call. I might have to do that next game. If they don't want to get them off me, I'll get them off myself. If they want to fine me for my comment, take double. I don't care. Take triple."

What the NBA should do is sit Shaq's butt on the bench by suspending him a few games. Not only is publicly criticizing officials a no-no, what's this crap about breaking somebody's "facial structure"? Has he seen the video of Kermit Washington leveling Rudy Tomjanovich? Does he get a kick out of that?

Besides, if Shaq had to watch himself shoot free throws, he wouldn't call fouls on himself either. Watching him put up those wobbling one-handers is pathetic.

Before he continues to threaten players with facial rearrangement, complain about the refs, or affront the rules of grammar, he needs to get in the gym and shoot some free throws.

When he entered the league, everyone thought free-throw shooting was his only weakness, but they were wrong because they incorrectly assumed that his first priority was winning.

His shoe commercial, with the line "I've got 10 fingers and no rings" almost takes pride in his lack of championships. That's pathetic--if he cared, he'd say no to some of the money and do what it takes to improve for the team's sake.

In the loss to Washington, Shaq blew a dunk, missed a bunch of lay-ups, turned the ball over five times, and had a flagrant foul. Don't point the finger, Shaq. Be a leader, and be a winner.

He's an All-Star now because of his physical talent. He can be so much more.

No one is ever going to confuse Shaq with a total jerk like Latrell Sprewell. Nevertheless, Shaq turns 26 tomorrow. He's not a young phenom any more, he's an established star. It's time for him to act like it.

Don't let these two stories get you totally down, however. For every punk like Sprewell, there's a class guy like Hakeem Olajuwon. And for every complainer like O'Neal, there's a stand-up guy like Michael Jordan. But it seems like the good guys are getting older, and the younger generation doesn't have the same attitude. Their behavior is turning people off to basketball. That's the real injustice, John Feerick.