guy fawkes day

Every November 5, Brits and their former subjects around the world commemorate Guy Fawkes Day. Disgruntled papist Guy Fawkes thought he was going to end 70 years of Protestant oppression by blowing up the Houses of Parliament and the King in 1605. Little did he know that his foiled Gunpowder Plot would take its place alongside Waterloo, the Studebaker and New Coke as one of the most spectacular failures in world history.

The holiday has managed to retain some of its Old English flair, with effigy-burning, dressing up, and drinking to the long life of the Queen. In colonial Boston, Guy Fawkes Day was solemnly observed with a day-long brawl between the residents of the North and South Ends.

Why do we mention this? Jaded as we are, we still believe that there are some holidays that defy shoehorning into the Shoebox Greeting Card ethos. Much as we would like to see the paunchy padrones of the North End roll up the sleeves of their Kappa windsuits and go toe to toe with the yuppies of Tremont Street, we'll settle for any sort of remembrance of dear old Guy.

What could you do to celebrate King James' narrow escape? Here are a few suggestions:

Light up a Parliament cigarette.

Listen to George Clinton and the Parliament Funk All-Stars.

Go see "Guys and Dolls."

It's five years later for Tony Manero. The fever still burns! The sequel to "Saturday Night Fever," "Stayin' Alive" was written and directed by Sylvester "Sly" Stallone. John Travolta returns as Tony, now trying to make it as a professional dancer on Broadway. A nefarious plot left this bomb in movie houses across the country in 1983.

Dress up as Guy Fawkes for Halloween: wear Catholic clothes and blow up a legislative body.

Get asked out for the Sadie Hawkins dance, then burn your date in effigy and blow up the sockhop.