Failing to Represent

Winter was coming. I could feel it in my bones as I left The Crimson. With no hat and only a fall jacket, I was feeling a little out of sorts as I cursed the Massachusetts weather and tried to keep my walk along Mass. Ave. as brisk as the biting wind. I detoured through the Yard with my head down and my mouth muttering. Near the Yard's exit, I was cut off by a group of French-speaking tourists. I tried to make my way through the crowd without so much as lifting my head. One boy, however, managed to see my eyes peeking up from the ground. Probably 15-years-old, he mustered up the courage to try out his English with a real-life American. "Hi!" he exclaimed. Quickly shifting my glance down again, I mumbled a quick "hey" under my breath.

A few strides later, I realized what I had just done. I had let my normally optimistic disposition go. I was awash in cynicism because of the bad weather. Here was some young kid, eager to come to the United States and interact with the locals, and what did I do? Blow him off. Great. Now he has the impression that Americans and Harvard students are rude and inconsiderate. If not, he at least thinks that I am.

By the time I realized I had made a mistake, it was too late to do anything. Not having stopped my pace, I was well past the tour group. Even if I had gone back, what would I have said? I can't speak a lick of French beyond bonjour and aurevoir. Would I have used exaggerated hand gestures and have spoken in a really loud voice, trying to say, "HI! MY NAME IS WILL! WHAT'S YOURS?" Would I have mentioned Jerry Lewis or World Cup soccer in a vain attempt to find some common ground?

The slightest lapse in judgment resulted in one of the worst feelings in the world--the thought that I had failed as a representative of my school, my country and, most of all, myself. As I continued to walk through the Cambridge Common back to the Quad, I tried to turn the incident into something positive. I vowed to keep my head up the next time the weather keeps me down. It's a little thing I can do, and it could mean something to the next person who receives my "Hi."