This Is Not CNN

Dartboard is less than thrilled about cable coming to House common rooms. Most of us only have enough free time each day to catch a few minutes of Sports Center or Headline News, so it's a hassle for us to trudge all the way to common areas.

Dartboard still does not understand the big deal about wiring the rooms into cable. It's not a logistical problem, as the University showed when it hooked us all up to the Internet. It's also not a moral problem, since the Web has a lot more lewd and inappropriate material than a basic cable package. And don't even humor dartboard by saying it's a monetary problem, because we can think of at least 13 million reasons why that's not true.

The Gong Show

In the age of randomization, it is heartening to see that house culture and spirit still exist. On Wednesday, in an effort to foster a sense of "community" in Adams House, a group of students marked the lunchtime entrance of each inter-house dinner with the clanging of the dining hall gong. While some students may have found the Adams going ploy a wee bit divisive, not to mention disruptive, we at Dartboard heartily approve of such measures. Those of us with illusions of power and grandeur have always dreamed of having our entrances marked in such a fashion. But perhaps next week those enthusiastic Adams students will announce our names and full titles as well. In a final note, we advise the other houses not to be outdone. Create your own signature greeting rituals for Adams residents who grace your dinning hall--lougies in Leverett, wedgies in Winthrop....

Kraft's Brain Is Spoiled Cheese

We here at Dartboard are wearing a smile. It is not a smile of joy--we are not happy that the New England Patriots are leaving--but it is a smile of dumbstruck disbelief. We cannot get over the fact that they are going to the "Insurance Capital of the World."

The city that shouts "minor league" has outbid our beloved Beantown. Now the NFL's "Hartford Patriots" join the ranks of the CBA's Connecticut Pride, the American Basketball League's New England Blizzard and the American Hockey League's Hartford Wolfpack. The Connecticut capital lost its only major league sports franchise in 1997, the NHL's Hartford Whalers. What has Pats owner Bob Kraft been smoking?

And where exactly, Mr. Kraft, are the fans going to come from? It's 100 miles from Boston to Hartford. Can Hartford, a city of 130,000 residents, have half of its population fill the proposed 68,000-seat stadium? Only time will tell.

Whalers Harpoon Big Fish

Bob Kraft showed his smarts yesterday in signing a tentative deal that would bring his team to Hartford for the next 30 years.

Though much maligned by the its neighbors to the north and south, Connecticut and its capital city can finally offer the Pats what the Bay State has not--respect. After years of exile in Foxboro, it's time the Pats got a taste of a place that would be proud to have them in its capital city. Nearing total recovery from the economic downturn of the early 90's, Hartford promises to be the region's next hot spot and will treasure the team as its crown jewel.

Despite what many say, the Constitution State can support an NFL organization--an assertion that is buoyed by Hartford's $1 billion commitment to developing the city's riverfront area. Connecticut surely won't let past mistakes doom this deal. Go Pats, Go! CABLE TV--Alex M. Carter; ADAMS ATTACKS--Laura C. Semerjian; PATS LEAVE--William P. Bohlen; PATS ARRIVE--Scott A. Resnick