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if it looks like a duck

MAKING THE DUCK TOURS HAPPEN

By Ariel B. Osceola

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. Or so the saying goes. In Boston, however, a new flock of ducks have begun to emerge in hues of pink, green, blue and other colors Mother Nature never intended. As they ride down the street or float down the Charles, the gratuitous quack, quack, quacking of history hungry tourists, exuberant children and theatrical guides reverberates off of a disinterested Boston. (For the uninitiated: duck passengers are required to make quacking noises when the tour passes Boston pedestrians.)

Originally built by General Motors in 1942 as amphibious vehicles for World War II, these "ducks" now carry Boston's most popular historical tour. Although the outer body of the duck retains the unique 1940s design, the inside of each amphibious vehicle has been outfitted with 1990s technology. Automatic transmission, new internal wiring, added roofs and comfortable, cushioned seats have all helped to transform these personnel carriers into suitable tourist transport contraptions. The drivers, however, must still contend with retired navigation instruments like large dials, spastic speedometers and protruding gears.

After the duck season ends on November 29th, the ducks are sent to the company's garage in East Boston where "they are taken apart piece by piece so that each part can be cleaned out and shined up and stored for the winter," according to one sales representative at duck headquarters. Subsequently, "specially trained, crack mechanics--on call 24 hours a day--ensure the upkeep of the ducks." These duck masters can "deal with a vehicle which was phased out of existence decades ago."

The integral part of the touring experience is, of course, the conductors themselves. One flamboyant narrator is a retired commercial airline pilot while another tour guide is a desperate college student trying to make a little extra cash on the side. In order to apply, applicants must already posses at least four licensees: a C.D.L., Hackney License, Cost Guard License and Boston Police. Once the hiring board has identified promising recruits, the new employees must go through the company's rigorous training period. These examinations consist of written tests in addition to practical tests where panic situations are recreated. The trainees are then asked to reenact the manner with which they would handle the situation. Finally, Boston Duck Tours sends its duck class to acting school so that the duck leaders can perform comfortably in front of their audiences. Duck Tour guides are not trained in the Stanislawski method.

Luckily for the company there have been few accidents involving the ducks, while on the road. "We've had a few bumps and scratches, but no major accidents," the sales representative told FM. The problem that appears to be most prevalent is engines stalling during the river component of the tour. "We've had a few problems with ducks getting stuck in the river, but they run every 15 minutes so another one is bound to come along and help their stranded buddy. And the tour continues."

Go ducking today: Tours depart rain or shine, April through November, from the Prudential Center. Purchase tickets inside the Prudential Center at Center Court on the day of the tour. Call (617) 723-DUCK for more information.

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