DARTBOARD

We at Dartboard are dismayed by the dangerous construction projects under way in the Square. Next door to Grendel's Den, an enormous crane is being used to relocate a historic building in the way of a new commercial development. The crane looms high above the horizon, threatening to topple at any moment, sending hundreds of pedestrians fleeing for their lives (and seriously disrupting the flow of traffic).

Even more distressing is the construction in front of the Cambridge Savings Bank. Scaffolding has intruded onto the sidewalk, blocking any means of avoiding the Pit when crossing from Out of Town News to the Coop. We at Dartboard have long lived in fear of the maladjusted teenagers from Newton who, adorned in leather and spikes, make the Pit their home. Our recent screening of John Carpenter's new film "Vampire" make the prospect of descending into that den of iniquity all the more harrowing.

Goodbye to the Green Monster

Poor, poor Red Sox fans. We at Dartboard were saddened this week to hear that Mo Vaughn, the Hub's favorite slugger, has decided not to return to the Sox for the 1999 season after spending his entire pro career with the team. Big Mo, who hit 40 homers last season and finished second by a hair in the American League batting race, was offered a none-too-shabby $62.5 million over 5 years to stay in Beantown, but apparently has had it with finishing second to the mighty Yankees.

For Boston, the loss is immense. Vaughn's bulky presence behind the plate brought the fans to life game after game; when he stepped to the plate, there was reason to hope that the Sox might steal a game--might even, eventually, steal a World Series title for the first time since the end of World War I. With Vaughn gone, there will only be more sadness among Boston's long-suffering faithful.

Not Quite Jm J. Quality

We at Dartboard grew up watching game shows. Along with "Hot Potato" and "Sale of the Century," one of our favorites was "Hollywood Squares." We developed our problem-solving skills by debating the merits of picking Milton Berle or Alf for the win. After a while, though, we grew older and tired of game shows. Jm J. Bullock and Shadoe Stevens lost their appeal after their 387th game in a row.

For nostalgia, though, we were excited to hear that Whoopi Goldberg was reviving the game as executive producer and center square. After seeing her Monday in Sanders Theatre, we thought we'd check out "Hollywood Squares" again to see how the classic is holding up.

The results are, at best, mixed. While the stars are up-to-date (Cindy Crawford and Gilbert Gottfried!), that's not necessarily a good thing. Stephen Baldwin, asked last night what the first 10 amendments are collectively called, said, "The American set of laws."

INTO THE PIT--Noah D. Oppenheim; OUTTA HERE--Geoffrey C. Upton, CENTER SQUARE--William P. Bohlen