Oh My God--I'm Sooo Embarrassed!!!

Fartio Ad Absurdum

This totally hot guy in my Philosophy tutorial was talking about the categorical imperative and why Kant was wrong to propose its unconditional supremacy over the hypothetical imperative. He attacked the premise of autonomous will in an argument by reductio ad absurdum, taking it to the Objectionist extreme as put forth by Ayn Rand. I was all, like, impressed, and wanted to show him that I was smart too, so I was about to bring up the need for primary AND secondary laws in a society--and then I farted. Everyone heard me, even the proseminar on Hegel next door! I was so embarrassed!

Twinning My TF

So I was wearing my new red Abercrombie button-down to CS50 section, but my TF was wearing the same shirt! I tried to cover it up, but my TF noticed while she was explaining binary search algorithms. "We're like two nodes on a search tree! She exclaimed. My face was as red as my shirt!

MAC Memories

I play lacrosse and in the off-season I try to work out pretty regularly, and sometimes end up at the MAC at weird off-hours when there aren't many people there. Pretty late one weeknight I needed a spotter for the freeweights, and the only people there were this old-ish guy on the treadmill and some chick on the treadmill. She looked great but I didn't want to ask her, and this other guy who looked like he could handle it, so I asked him and he said he'd do it. I put on a couple extra 45 lb. plates, hoping the stairmaster chick would notice, and I normally could have handled it but maybe I'd just been pumping a little too hard lately or something because my pecs totally gave out on the third rep and the bar came crunching down on my chest, and the old guy totally just freaked out and couldn't get it off and I started yelling "get it off, get it off," but then he just started yelling too, and the stairmaster chick had to come over and help us lift it off my neck. Yo, now I have to go all the way to the QRAC because I'm so embarrassed.

Ec or Ecch?

One time I was sitting in the front row for Ec 10 lecture and Professor Feldstein made a joke about positive externalities and I laughed so hard I soiled my sourcebook! I'm sure Marty saw me...I could've died!

Rain Pain

I was working as a camp counselor last summer and one day I got soaking wet leading some campers back from a hike in a storm. But when I went back to the cabin to take off my went clothes, I remembered that I was late making a phone call. So I threw a long raincoat over my purple bra and panties and ran to the pay phones. As I raced to the camp headquarters in the rain, I saw this really fine counselor coming by with some of his campers and I stopped paying attention to the trail and tripped! When I fell, my coat flipped over my head and the hottie and a ton of little kids learned Victoria's Secret.

Busted, Busted, Can't Be Trusted!

When I was a freshman in high school, I had a crush on this guy who I barely knew. My friends used to take notes on what he wore or things he said and relay the into back to me. One day, I decided to call him up and find out who he liked. To conceal my identity, I faked a French accent and pretended I was a foreign exchange student named Monique. About a minute into the conversation, my crush said, "[Debbie], is this you? I immediately hung up the phone, mortified. He eventually became one of my best friends, but I will never live down the "Monique incident!"

DORM CREW DOODIE

I do dorm crew, and one time I was cleaning a bathroom in Thayer, when I really had to take a dump! Well, I didn't think anyone was in the room, so I just took a seat and let fly. When I was finally through, I heard some people in the common room giggling. But they weren't laughing at me-they were having sex! Anyway, I was pretty embarrassed.

Checkout of Town

My mom and I were grocery shopping one day and when we got to the checkout line, I saw that the cashier was this dreamy football player from my math class. I wanted to be able to talk to him alone, so I asked my mom to just leave and give me the money and I would handle everything alone. So as he was bagging my food, he kept giving me these sly smiles and I was feeling like we were clicking really well. When I got home to unload the groceries, I remembered we had picked up some laxatives for my dad! Now the whole school thinks I have a constipation problem. Talk about letting the wind out of my sails!

Pitching a Tent

I was watching the "Sex" film festival when the scene with the two female bonobos performing "hoka-hoka" (genito-genital rubbing) on each other came on. To my surprise, I found myself becoming extremely aroused. To make a long story short, I had to walk out of the science center with my girlfriend's sweater tied around my waist. It was sooo embarrassing.

Where's The Party?

This senior guy was having a party once and I was so excited because I was the only freshman invited. So I made sure I looked really cute in my white tank top and tight-fitting jeans and got my dad to drop me off at exactly the right time. But when I got to the door, I noticed that there was only one car outside, there was no noise and most of the windows were dark! When he answered the door, he explained to me that the party was actually the next day and I must have gotten the date wrong. I was so embarrassed!

But he was a sweetie and told me I could join him for the night anyway. How dreamy!

Staimaster Disaster

I was on the stairmaster at the QRAC trying to burn off those last 50 calories from breakfast and I was getting totally sweaty, like, just totally gross, and surprise! In comes my Ec. TF, who is not only my TF but also totally hot. I totally didn't know what to do and my face flushed even more and I tried to, like, wipe off with my T-shirt but this just messed up my mascara and made things worse. Totally humiliated, because he was obviously one of those people who looks *good* when he sweats, I decided just to suck up my pride and say hi when he passed. But, just as he was passing, I glanced down and realized that I had just gotten my period--in a big way! I was so embarrassed that I let out a huge, wet, smelly fart. He looked so disgusted and hasn't been nearly as nice to me in class, ever since!

Revealing Address

II'd been so nervous for two weeks about the speech I was going to give when I was running for student council president in 12th grade. I practiced in front of the mirror every evening until I could recite it by heart. I picked out the perfect outfit: an off-white twinset, a flowing knee-length navy blue skirt, navy pumps, and nude control-top sheer panty-hose. I was holding my head high, trying to look confident while walking onto the podium. To calm myself, I tried to imagine everyone in the audience in their underwear. People started giggling and snickering, and I didn't know why, until I realized that THEY could see MY underwear!! I had tucked my skirt into my pantyhose!! I ran off the stage in tears without finishing my speech. I was voted president anyway, but to this day, my friends call me "Sweet Cheeks."