FM ON FM: PROOF OF OUR IMPORTANCE

Later that night, one member of FM visited the Fly Club, where blood alcohol apparently turned to testosterone--transubstantiation run amok as a fight broke out and some Fly guys wrinkled their khakis. One female party-goer, disgusted with the machismo demonstration, remarked, "No matter how much renovation they do, this place will always be a dump."

Meanwhile in Eliot House, FM associate editor Hussain held court. Reportedly, several female friends of FM showed up looking "blatantly underage and wearing tight shirts." Hussain has been recently celebrating the popularity of "Murad," an advanced Glycolic Acid skin care system now available at Kosmetika, a day spa located at 77 Newbury St. (second floor).

Senior House party hostess Chana R. Schoenberger, who is also a Crimson executive, told FM that nothing really happened except that "strangers were getting it on" in her living room.

Meantime, one particularly important FM executive shuttled between major East Coasts cities, spotting a disguised Monica Lewinsky in the emergency exit row.

Back at school on Monday, we at FM have a few extra frequent flyer miles and enough weekend gossip in our back pockets to give us a fat-assed silhouette.