bowling with da homies

With all of the swing clubs becoming increasingly over-crowded, platform shoe related injuries at peak frequency and the memory of pegged jeans still fresh in mind, the only thing left to do is to take a trip to a lost era and strike up a relationship with bowling--the sport of the millenium.

Although seeking out one of these establishments may seem daunting, in reality it is simpler than one would imagine. Lanes and Games, the largest bowling alley in the Boston area, is just a paltry 10 minute walk from the Alewife T-station in Cambridge. This grand dame of a bowl-o-rama offers two floors, 40 lanes and two different types of bowling options--10 pin and the New England phenomenon known as candlepin. Deodorized rental shoes, greasy communal bowling balls, fuzzy multi-colored walls and pink plastic lane dividers make this bowling establishment a palace where tackiness reigns supreme. Inside Lanes and Games, kids frolic and dance down the polished runways and shouts of delight permeate the air. To keep spirits high, the management provides "bumper bowling" for those who can't avoid the menacing gutter-ball.

Only at this venue do sexy Mercedes ML320s park alongside dowdy '85 Crown Victoria's. Here, young children celebrating birthdays and flippant teens clothed in Tommy gear, fraternal organizations and prominent accounting firms mingle and play side by side. God bless America.

On the first floor, the glare of neon pink and orange storage lockers greets incoming patrons and the red glow of the video game room lures children into this den of underage gambling.

Upstairs, TV monitors hang from the ceiling allowing all players to view the automated scoring system which stars little demonic creatures which chide players when a gutter ball is rolled. Although no violence has ever been documented, tempers have been known to flare due to low scores and perpetual losses. The crown jewel of the complex is the second floor pro-shop, which serves as a haven for every bowler's deepest desires. XG vinyl bowling bags ($30.00), canvas shoe bags ($10), handsome hand embroidered Brunswick bowling jerseys ($50) and creme de la creme hand-crafted bowling balls ($170) are all exhibited behind glass casing for patrons to gaze upon with awe.

With its low-key atmosphere and friendly management, this bowling complex has been known to attract many local TV luminaries and professional sports celebrities who come to throw back a few paper cups of beer in the smoke-filled lounge. However, owner/manager, Joe Martignetti understands his patrons' desire for privacy and keeps this privileged information under wraps. With so much fan fare surrounding the renaissance of this sport, it is only a matter of time before a Crimson clad team takes to those polished wooden floors.