A Bill You Just Can't Love

A few days ago I was walking down Mt. Auburn Street when I noticed a woman staring at her hands with a mixed expression of awe and disgust. I was perplexed. Then I noticed she was coming from an ATM. She was looking at the new $20 bill.

The new bill is ugly. Butt ugly.

The old one was staid, clean, classy. Andrew Jackson's portrait was the delicate centerpiece for the balanced, elegant currency.

Now, Jackson's face dominates the bill, almost to the point where the bill is bleeding Andrew Jackson. He also has a forehead the size of Herman Munster's (Fred Gwynne '51).

I'm not saying that I dislike Andrew Jackson. I very much like Jackson. I love hearing about the tales of "Old Hickory" in the War of 1812 and the Battle of New Orleans. The man just has a big noggin.

The back of the bill has a completely white background, eerily reminiscent of Monopoly money. Perhaps the U.S. Mint could have saved on its printing budget by commissioning. I realize that the twenty is not the first bill to be redesigned in recent years. The $50- and $100-bills have already had major facelifts. The difference between those two and the $20-bill, however, is that the latter is used much more frequently. You only get 50s and 100s from your aunt on your birthday. Once you get one, you either hold onto it or you deposit it. You use the $20 all the time. A month or so ago, you would go to the music store and plop down a $20-bill to pay for a CD. Now, you must fear the clerk will say, "Mister, we don't accept Monopoly money."

It is too late to do anything about the bill. The old bills are becoming extinct as soon as the evil "poacher" banks can get their hands on them. But there is hope that we can still save the future of the American currency: if we band together, we can save the ten, the five and the one.