I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

President Clinton's alleged affair with former White House intern Monica S. Lewinsky has the entire nation asking questions. But for those lucky Harvard undergrads who once gloried in their unpaid summer employment, there's only one question to answer nowadays: "Weren't you a White House intern?"

We at Dartboard wonder whether the White House internships, those coveted slave-labor assignments of so many gov jocks, will ever earn back their former prestige. For now, Harvard students who put their White House jobs on top of their resumes will pause as they carefully define their "experience." Meanwhile, their parents, once thrilled to brag about their offspring's political stardom, will now tell people that their children worked "in Washington, in, uh...well--oh, I don't remember, maybe in the Senate or something."

To all those White House alums fearing for their reputations, Dartboard offers the following suggestion: The next time someone asks you "Weren't you a White House intern?" just say, "No, but I did have sex with the President."