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Following the Worse Path

Procrastinating Your Way into the MAC

By Susannah B. Tobin

Life is full of paradoxes, and Harvard life is no exception. From sophomores whose very name combines folly and wisdom to the College itself, which aspires to be both elite and democratic. Recently, I discovered a paradox useful to all who are stricken with my favorite disease: acute procrastination. After checking my e-mail every 30 seconds for an hour, popping microwave popcorn, running Yahoo searches to complete my collection of start-up sounds from "The Princess Bride" and, of course, taking naps--all to avoid studying for exams--I needed a new way to procrastinate.

My absolute last resort was going to the gym, but I found, surprisingly, that working out at the MAC takes away all subsequent desire to avoid work.

It may be that fear of the unknown prevents people from visits to the MAC, with its collection of monstrous pre-Jurassic machines. The nautilus room, at first glance, seems a more effective torture chamber than any the fictional Prince Humperdink ever dreamed up. In fact, the "life sucking torture machine" to which our hero Westley is subjected springs to mind when I think of the MAC weight room.

The machines are huge and, yes, scary to those who've never used them. But this fear can be overcome with the help of someone who has been there before. Bring a dorm-mate who is willing to show you the ropes.

To some, the goal of lifting is increasing the weight one lifts until one has conquered the machine. To others, it seems, the goal is to show off one's presumed strength by strutting the length of the room wearing a huge leather support belt. Most of us fall into neither of these categories, delighted to do what we can when even the smallest amount of weight is a challenge to lift.

But the goal for everyone in the weight room is one which all of us as Harvard students face on a number of levels: to win the inner struggle between finishing a set and quitting from exhaustion or weakness. In reading period, there is the struggle to keep studying instead of falling asleep or going out to enjoy (what should be) nice weather. And through the rest of the year, there is the struggle to balance schoolwork with extracurricular activities, paper assignments with formal invitations.

Often, there is the temptation to just let it all go and throw in the towel.

We all know about repetition compulsion syndrome and the disastrous effects of grasping time and time again to garner the elusive. Just as in the real world, inside the weight room the way to break such an endless cycle of frustration is to hit the machines, increase literal repetitions and create a proper workout. Moreover, this newfound energy will provide invigorating freedom. Surely even Buttercup, with a few turns on the butterfly machine, could manage to escape any self-constructed dungeon.

There's obvious truth to the idea that physical fitness increases mental alertness. But as Ovid, a Latin poet (whose thousand choicest verses my new-found energy has allowed me the chance to read), points out, "Aliudque cupido, mens aliud suadet. Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor" ("I desire one thing; reason persuades me of something else. I see the better way to go and approve of it, but I follow the worse path.")

Procrastination is the very worst path, and it is very easy to weigh the five minute jog to the gym and the 45 minute work out against an hour's nap and choose the nap. But if you can force yourself to choose the MAC at least half the time, you can double your energy. Naps rarely invigorate; lifting usually does.

It's hard to believe that anyone would delay trying this fool-proof technique of increasing health and alertness. I urge one and all to head for the MAC no later than tomorrow-oops, I mean this very day.

Susannah B. Tobin, a first-year living in Hollis Hall, is a Crimson Editor.

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