Sending My Love

"Say Anything," was originally intended as a tribute to the enduring Harvard spirit, to the trials and tribulations of student lives. With that said, what could be more trying than Black Friday, a.k.a. Valentine's Day, a holiday named, rather fittingly, for a saint who suffered death by clubbing and eventual beheading at the hands of his greatest enemies?

Theological roots aside, of all the pseudo-secularized holidays, Valentine's Day seems to cast a pall over even the lightest of spirits, regardless of their dating status.

"I hate Valentine's Day because all the cute little presents make me puke," Josh S. Shirkey '98 says. "It's just a day; it has no bearing on me except that the stores explode and PDA runs riot."

National statistics list an increase in the break-up and divorce rates among couples during the festive Valentine season, in many cases due to one partner's failure to live up to romantic expectations. For those of us with a significant other (shoulder caddy though they may be) Valentine's Day is a crucial self-marketing moment: What to say? What to do? What to buy?

HSA Catering did its part this year to assist even the most inept lover. With its "Deliveries from the Heart" program, HSA supplied what pamphlets trumpeted as an ensemble of "Valentine's Day Specials." Yet the result was far from gourmet wooing.

For example, observe the $35 "Always and Forever" package, which includes a plush 9" teddy bear, a one-pound heart shaped box of chocolates, a half dozen cupcakes and chocolate cookies (gourmet, nonetheless) and seven balloons. Harvard catering promises the ensemble will "show your love is forever,"--not false advertising considering remnants of the chocolates will probably linger somewhere under your futon for all eternity.

And yet, depite its pre-packaged and impersonal nature, the Valentine's combo sells. Whether it's kitschy charm or sheer convenience, the Celebrations department of HSA Catering has been busy taking orders since February 6.

"It's our biggest day of the year and our largest revenue generating event," says Kristal C. O'Bryant, co-manager '98 of HSA Celebrations. O'Bryant, who helped generate the package titles, says the most popular tend to be oriented towards family and friends: the "Just Because," friendship package or "Sending My Love" combo that may be shipped home.

"A lot of people primarily want to send [packages] to people at home or outside of Harvard," O'Bryant says. All the lonely people...

For those without a special someone, (or a special someone in the imediate vicinity), there was always "Datamatch," the Harvard Computer Society (HCS) sponsored dating program which yields a top ten list of compatible undergrads for a given participant to choose from.

Even the most skeptical Benedik among us cannot fail to appreciate the entertainment value, let alone psychological insight, the "Datamatch" computer questionaire provided--and for a mere $1 at that.

But don't let the price fool you: "Datamatch" means business. I had the privilege of watching my roommate struggle not only to answer but simply to interpret the reasoning behind the "Datamatch" questionaire.

"Favorite Harvard Superhero" struck a divisive note, as I adamantly supported choice "D: Action Man," while my roommate chose a tamer "C: Domna," (Not surprising considering the alternatives: Harry R. Lewis '68, Rudd W. Coffey '97 and Men U. Man, a second year law school student).

Does this mean she is destined for a domineering mate with a penchant for elderly Greek maternal types? Or does this mean that she should eat in Annenberg more often? Are we taking this too seriously?

As one sophomore "Datamatch" participant, whose year and a half relationship with a Wellesley frosh led him to favor anonymity, replied, "It's not such a big deal. I'm just curious who I'll get matched with. Is that so wrong?"

The guy has a point. Don't get bothered by the sickening Valentine's Day window displays of Sage's or CVS. Don't worry if you missed "The Valentine's Waltz" at Lowell or the "Valentine's Soiree" at the Ritz-Carleton.

Don't let the Valentine's saps get you down. Next year, relax, go get drunk and order Harry R. Lewis '68 a couple of "Sending My Love" packages from HSA.